


When You Come Back

by Deans_Fetish



Series: I Want You To Live Series [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Children, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death and Resurrection, M/M, Male Slash, Schmoop, Swearing, parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-05-30
Updated: 2010-05-30
Packaged: 2018-09-07 06:46:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8787769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deans_Fetish/pseuds/Deans_Fetish
Summary: This is the sequel to, I Want You To Live & I still Run.AU Fic. Sam and Dean had what seemed like the perfect life, a normal life. Two sons, a house, each other and no more hunting. One fateful night that all got ripped away. Dean is trying to live life without Sam and raise two sons and move on, but he can't let go. And now, their sons know what he and Sam use to do for a living and they hash a plan to bring their Dad Sam back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Roughly based on the video by Herebutnotremembered by the same name.

It's been two years since I burned Sam's things and I think it's only made things worse for me. But, either the boys don't notice or I've gotten better at hiding it, because they don't say anything to me about it anymore.

Of course, now they are eight and twelve, so they're kinda self absorbed. 

Well, JD is anyway, he's discovered that girls are for more than just grossing out and tripping as they walk by. 

Sammy however is totally into the computer system I bought him. All four of the damn machines. (Yeah, did I mention I spoil the shit out of those kids?)

I have a friend I hang out with now, her name is Molly, and no we aren't dating. We're just friends. (Really. Shocking, I know, but there it is.) 

I think that the boys think we're a couple though, as they tend to scurry out of the room when she comes over. Actually, I think she thinks I'm gay. [snickers] Oh if she only knew. So totally not gay. [shakes head, grinning]

But, it works out for me, because I don't have to worry about feeling like I might cheat on Sam, the boys get to think I have a girlfriend, and she has a Movie buddy every Saturday night. So, it's kind of a win, win, win situation all around.

I've been reading a lot of the books Sam had stashed, and looking at Dad's journal. I'm seriously considering making a crossroad deal again, and getting Sam back, I can't do this anymore. I've tried. For eight years I've tried and I just can't.

Jo came over the other day to get JD and take him to the movies, I think he has a crush on her. Poor kid. Anyway, I talked to her about it. Yeah, see? I am a total basket case, actually talking to Jo about things. [huffs and shakes head]

But, I know she won't tell her Mom or Bobby, so, I'm safe there. (And no, I didn't talk to her about it in front of the kids. Damn, I'm not totally fucked in the head!...I took her in my room and talked to her.) [shrugs] And yes, all I did was talk to her. It gives me the creeps to think of her that way now that I'm pretty sure JD has a crush on her. It's kinda the bros before hos rule.

*********************

"Hi, JD Winchester here," he begins, then glances at Sammy standing beside him, this here's my brother Sammy. 

"Hi." Sammy says and JD swats him in the head for it.

"Shut up, Geek boy, no one was taking to you." Sammy ducks and rubs his head, glaring at his brother. JD rolls his eyes at Sammy, "Anyway, as I was saying, My Dad Sam died when I was four, there was a fire and he died." sighs and glances at Sammy, "Beanpole here was just a baby, so he doesn't remember any of it." 

JD shrugs and clears his throat, "Anyway, our other Dad Dean, he's been a wreck ever since and a couple years ago, we finally got him to get rid of all of Sam's stuff. We know it was hard for him, but it was for the best." JD nods and nudges Sammy to get him to nod too, which he does.

"Dad thinks we're dumb, that we don't know he still cries when he thinks we aren't looking, but we see him." JD says and Sammy pipes in with a, "Yeah, we see." And JD thumps him on the forehead, "Shut up, dumb ass." 

Sammy glares at him, "Idiot."

JD grins and Sammy smirks and looks away. "Where was I? Oh right, Dad... yeah, so he's still freaking out, even though he has this friend, Molly, cause well, Dad ain't gay. Dad and Dad Sam had a special relationship, but they both like girls, it's hard to explain, but there it is."

"Yep, hard to explain." Sammy agrees, nodding and JD rolls his eyes.

"Dad bought Sammy here like the top of the line computer system and then he got him like three others to go with it, so geek boy here is like King Geek now, and we found a few things out. Like one, Dad Dean is my real Dad and Dad Sam is Sammy's, but they didn't have an affair to do it, it was done through some clinic." JD shudders at that thought. 

"Dad Dean had always told us that they were both were our Dad's equal, but we learned that that isn't exactly the case, not that we see them any different, to us, we think of them both as our Dad, but, I'm just saying." JD shrugs and looks at Sammy who shrugs too.

"We also have been noticing the stuff Dad has been looking at, and we were listening at the door the day Jo came over. We heard what he said. At first we thought he was insane, but then we looked through the books one Saturday night while he was out at the movies with Molly, Jo was over babysitting, not that I need a babysitter, but still. We also found what appears to be our Grandfather's journal and there is a truck load of information in there."

"Truck load." Sammy pipes in, but JD ignores him. 

"So, we read about Dad making a deal at the crossroads years ago. Apparently Dad Sam died once before, before they had a relationship other than brothers."

"A long time ago." Sammy agrees, nodding.

"Yeah, so, we now know why Dad always looks under our bed, why he checks the closet, and we know about the salt lines on the windows. Yeah, we know it all. And geek boy here, looked up even more on his arsenal of computers. So, we know all about the things that go bump in the night and how to bump back now. Thing is, we gotta make sure that Dad doesn't make that deal, cause even though Dad Sam got him outta hell before, we don't want him to end up going again."

"No we don't." Sammy agrees.

JD looks at Sammy and nods, "We got work to do, beanpole."

***************************

It's Saturday night and I'm getting ready to go out with Molly, she'll be here soon.  
Molly. Yeah, she's hot. Long straight brown hair that hangs just past her shoulders, the prettiest blue eyes and an ever present smile on her full red (and don't ask me how they are always red, even when she doesn't seem to have make-up on, but they are) lips. 

Yeah, if I was in the market, I'd definitely be buying me some of that! She'd be tops on my list, most definitely.

But, as I said before, I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm gay, I mean, she knows about Sam and well, that usually leads people to assume... and when we met I didn't automatically jump on her. (amazing, isn't it?)

So, yeah, I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm gay, especially since she keeps taking me to all these chick-flicky movies and lately she's been inviting me to these gay ass little get togethers during the day. [shakes head] I blame Sam. I dunno how or why, but I do. Has to be his fault, the bitch.

So, here I am sitting on my bed putting on my boots and trying not to think about the fact that my boys are in Sammy's computer room together being awfully quiet.

Sure, that sounds like a good thing, but I know my kids and that can only mean something bad. They're plotting. Probably against me. The little bastards.

I think they secretly like to make my life hell. Not the 'I miss Sam' kinda hell, but the, 'I flushed a frog down the toilet and now it's leaking all over the floor and running down the stairs and it's a weekend so I can't call a plumber and I have to take apart the damn toilet to save a fucking frog then clean up the mess' hell.

I hear the door bell as I finish putting on my boots, so I pull from the bed and glance over at Sam's picture on my nightstand and shake my head sighing. "Don't ever say I wasn't the most faithful person on the planet, bitch." I mumble to him, before turning and walking out of my room and down the stairs to the front door.

I open the door and my breath catches as I see Molly standing there. Sometimes I think she dresses like that on purpose just to see if she can get a rise out of me (no pun intended) and let me tell you, she does. Often. But, I try my best to hide it as my eyes drink in the way she looks with her hair hanging long and lose down her back, that tight low cut black shirt on and that mini-skirt that leaves little to nothing to my imagination. (Fuck me!)

Okay, stop staring, Dean. And stop drooling like a mad dog. I clear my throat and lean toward her, brushing a kiss across her lips as she enters. "You look.. (fuckable? Delicious?) great." I tell her and she grins at me, and tells me, "Thank you." and "You look great too."

I have on the button up shirt Sammy got me for Christmas last year. It's green, he says it matches my eyes, (Fucking girl, just like his Dad) tight jeans and my boots." [shrugs] Nothing fancy, but yeah, maybe I look fuckable too. [grins]

"Are you ready to go?" she asks me and I nod to her, then it hits me that I have two sons to tell goodbye to. (Duh!... hell, it's been a fucking long time for me in the getting laid department, so my downstairs brain is doing all my thinking right now, so bite me!) 

Jo is on her way over, and I know she'll be here any minute, I just talked to Ellen before I started putting my boots on, so I'm not worried about leaving them before she shows up. Hell, I'd rather not be here when she does actually. 

I look at Molly as I grab my leather jacket, "Gimme just a second," I tell her and she nods to me. I know she already knows where I'm going, so there's no need to explain as I walk toward Sammy's computer room. 

Yeah, he has his own little 'office' and on the door is a banner Jo made for him that says, "Sammy's Danger Room, Enter At Your Own Risk." in his favorite colors of blue and black, and sadly, there was never a banner so true. 

The things that kid can do with a computer is mind boggling. He makes my Sam look like he was computer illiterate. (And YES, I know what illiterate means! [glares])

**********************************

Hey, it's me, JD; Sammy and I are in his own little version of the bat cave and we're pouring over the books and the shit his computer is spitting out. 

He's got four computers, like I said, a laptop leaning there against the wall, closed up (you know, just in case FOUR computers aren't enough!) four printers, a scanner, a fax machine, a huge ass file cabinet, that at the age of eight, he shouldn't be able to reach the top of, but he's already taller than I am (don't tell him I told you that) so he can, and it's full of papers he's printed out and pages of books from Bobby's that we tore out when no one was looking. 

We've got a bag of rock salt hidden in the back of the closet, enough matches to start a forest fire in all 50 states, cans of spray paint, a book on exorcisms in Latin and Greek (because you just never know) and now we're trying to figure out just how to stop Dad Dean from being an idiot and making that deal, and still get Dad Sam back. [shakes head] Our work is never done. [sighs, then grins a grin so charming it's enough to rival Dean's]

Hey, maybe when we're done here, we can work on that whole world hunger problem, that AIDS problem and find the cure for cancer. [huffs] Yeah, right.  
Impossible dumb ass Dads!

So, as I'm standing there watching my kid brother's fingers fly across the four different keyboards faster than... well, than anything I've ever seen, especially for a kid who's bangs are so damn long they hang all the way to his mouth and when he really gets to thinkin' about somethin' or workin' on these things, he's chewing on them. [shakes head] (The freak.) 

The door starts to open and I hear Dad saying our names. My eyes grow wide, (Sammy says when they do that my face is nothing but huge green eyes. [shakes head] He's such a girl.) and I look at Sammy as he pulls his head up and looks at me through his bangs, a mirrored 'oh shit' look on his face to match my own. 

I run to the door and my body slams against it, stopping my Dad from opening it as I put all my weight into pushing back on the door, but I know he isn't trying real hard to open it yet, because he could otherwise, even with me there. "Dad, you can't come in here!" I tell him my voice in a panic.

"Why the hell not? What are you two doing in there?" he asks me.

I look over at Sammy, who's holding up a finger, a pencil held longways between his teeth, hair in his eyes and he's still typing away with one hand. I sigh and roll my eyes because I thought that the little moron would have come over and helped me hold the door seeings as we have books and papers scattered everywhere that tell exactly what we're doing, but no, he's glued to the damn computers like some evil computer genius. I have to hand it to him though, even one handed, he's flying through whatever he's typing. (Did I mention yet that he's a freak?)

"JD?" my Dad says through the door and I panic and say the first thing that comes to me.

"Sammy's measuring his penis and I'm telling him it's a normal size."

"WHAT!?!?" I hear from my Dad on the other wide of the door, at the same time as I hear the pencil that had been in Sammy's mouth hit the floor. 

I look over at Sammy and he's looking at me with his mouth hanging open and he's not typing anymore, just staring at me. So, I shrug and whisper out, "You left me little choice douche wad!"

Okay, now Dad IS trying to get the door open and he's got his head almost in, so I reach up and put my hand over his face and start shoving him back as I'm shoving on the door. I finally get him back and the door closed again and I can hear him swearing LOUD on the other side and he's telling me, "God dammit it, JD open that door!" 

I look over at Sammy and he's shaking his head so hard his bangs are actually out of his eyes for brief seconds and I can see how wide his hazel eyes are with panic, because yeah, we know that if Dad knew that we know what he doesn't what us to know that he'd be more pissed than you could ever know, ya know?

So, he's running around his computer desk toward me now and he's helping me hold the door, because now Dad is really trying to get in. I'm trying to get my feet up onto the wall across from us for some leverage, but my legs fall just short of the wall if I want to keep my back against the door. Sammy looks over at me and sighs then lifts his legs and damn it if he doesn't do it, he fits. His knees are slightly bent even. The damn long legged freak!

I glare at him for a second, and no longer because we don't have time for it, but I stick this event in my head to harass him about later and run over to his desk (more like wall of electronics) and start gathering up books and papers and stashing them anywhere I possibly can hide them. As I am almost done, my hand hits a monitor and it wobbles and he's freaking. "Don't hurt my computers, you uncivilized animal!" he hisses at me, and of course, that makes me freeze because well, he called me a name and Sammy must learn that JD is the older brother and I am therefore his GOD and MASTER!

So, I unbuckle my belt and unbutton my pants as I look at him grinning, and he's frowning at me because he has no idea what I'm about to do. I got my jeans zipper undone now and I'm pulling the front of my pants down slightly at the same time as I grab up a monitor. I glance up at him and see, that he's got one eye closed and open eye open. Cause I know he doesn't want to see what's in my pants, but he's worried about his damn computer now. And I'm grinning like an evil little monster as I take the monitor and rub it against my crotch. I mean, real good too, make sure that I smear it around and stuff before I set it back on the desk. 

Sammy's got his eyes squeezed shut, his face is all contorted in an 'ew' fashion and I'm snickering as I fasten my pants back up. I can hear him groaning because now to clean it, he's going to have to touch it. (Yeah, I love to annoy the piss out of him.) I grab the last of the stuff we had out, stash it away and walk over to Sammy and give him a hard shove, as hard as I can and he falls to the floor with a thud, all long legs, bones and hair and I'm snickering, before I reach for the door knob. 

I stifle my snickers and plaster that charming smile on my face that only my Dad and I can do and open the door slightly. "Yeah, Dad?" I ask, sounding innocent. 

Dad's glaring at me, before looking around the room and then just as he's shoving the door open wider, he asks me, "Where's your brother?" effectively smacking Sammy in the head with the door. Earning an, "Ow!" out of Sammy followed by a pain-filled groan. 

I bite back a laugh as I look down at Sammy and answer matter-of-factly, "Right there."

**************************

Okay, I know two things. I know my boys are up to something and I know it's no good, because they were working together to not let me in. 

I should feel bad about knocking Sammy in the head with the door, but at this point I really don't because I am so Goddamn mad all I can see is red. 

I force my way into the room, brushing past my oldest and go to Sammy's computers, looking at the screens.   
All that's there are different video games and a Mission Impossible screensaver, complete with that annoying theme song playing in the background, but I know, I just know they were up to something. 

I turn and look at them as Sammy is pulling to his feet, holding his head and narrow my eyes at them. "I am only going to ask this one more time, WHAT were you two doing?"

And my oldest, ‘the mouth’, comes back with, "Looking at porn." nodding his head.

Sammy's looking at him, with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open, so I'm not sure if JD just busted them or if Sammy is shocked by the lie. So, I continue to glare at them for a few more moments and pretty soon Sammy is looking at the floor all embarrassed like and JD is smirking, so I'm thinking maybe that it was the truth. 

"Yeah, okay. Well, fine." I tell them as I head for the door, then stop and think that I was probably suppose to yell about that, but how can I with a straight face? So, instead I just look back at them and mutter a, "Well, you two know better." before I walk out. 

I also add, "Molly's here." from outside the door as I'm walking back her way, knowing that they will follow me out now like two lap dogs looking for a bone, just so she will tell them how handsome they are and fawn over them for a few minutes. [sighs and rolls eyes] Yeah, my boys.

So, we walk out, me and the boys behind me and Molly is there, lounging back on my huge ass couch, and it's swallowing her five foot, four inch frame up. (Yes, I got another huge one... a Sam thing. And yeah, I know... bite me!) She looks from me to the boys and back to me, "Everything alright?" she asks me.

I nod to her, a muscle working in my jaw as I frown, because I still am not sure that I believe the sneaky little bastards. 

JD steps out from around me and goes to the couch, leaning on the back, he's all smiles and charm as he looks at her, telling her how great she looks and my eyes widen slightly as I'm pretty sure I just saw him look down her shirt when she turned toward him more. (Oh for the love of...)

Sammy is still hiding behind me, like Molly might bite him or something, but then when she looks over at him, smiling and says, "Hey, Sammy, how are you, sweetie?" he's next to her faster than I think I've ever seen him move. (Oh lord...)

I roll my eyes at them and clear my throat, looking at my watch. "Shouldn't we be going?" I ask Molly. 

She looks up at me and nods, before leaning forward to kiss first JD on the cheek then Sammy, ruffling his long ass hair. (I so want to get that shit cut, but he won't let me take him. He says it helps him think. Yeah, whatever.)

She stands up then and walks over to me, locking her arm through mine and then holding onto it, she leans into me slightly, her head against my arm, she looks at the boys and tells them to have a good night and to be good. I hear them mutter a "We will," and a "have fun." as I turn with her and start walking toward the front door. 

I slip my jacket on, and open the door, almost colliding with Jo as she's hurrying up to the house, texting away on her cell as she does. She looks up and me and mutters a, "Hi, Dean." and I just step back from her, nod and step around her, walking to my car. 

I can feel the boys at the door behind me and I am almost positive that JD has that look on his face, you know the one, the preteen, 'I love her' look, so I don't look back, to try to save him the embarrassment. 

I can hear her talking to them as I reach the car and open the door. "You boys ready to have fun tonight?" she asks them, and it's their reply that has me pausing and rethinking the idea of going anywhere. 

I hear them tell her, "Nah, we need to study."

Now the last time I heard JD say he needed to study something it was how to remove a girls bra. Sammy saying he needs to study doesn't really shock me, but JD, hell yeah! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I let go of the car door, starting to walk away, back toward my two trouble makers, when I hear Molly, "Dean, we need to go, hun, we're going to miss it." 

I glance back at her and then look to the boys again as they are walking into the house.

"Jo will take care of them." Molly tells me, and I turn and look at her and she's smiling that same smile she uses for new mothers at the doctors office. Molly is a nurse at the boys, pediatricians office. But, don't tell them I said that, they hate when I call their doctor that. Tell me that pediatricians are for babies. They aren't babies, they go to the doctor, period.

I sigh and nod to Molly as I climb into the car, sliding behind the wheel, though I'm still staring at the house, wondering what those boys are really up to. 

I do leave though, and take Molly to the movies, because well, what IF they aren't doing anything, and they were telling the truth (yeah right, and I believe in unicorns) and here I am acting like an overbearing, pain-in-the-ass father from hell?

Yeah, so not me. That was Sammy's job. I'm the cool one, remember? So, muttering under my breath about lying little brats needing a good ass whipping, I start the car and pull out of the driveway.

***********************

So dingle dork and I follow Dad and Molly to the door, I'm hanging out of it because Jo's here and well, she just kinda rocks my world. I'd like to get between her and her Calvin Klein's, if ya know what I'm sayin'. But, she sees me as Dad's little ankle biter, so that's never gonna happen, but a kid can dream right?

Anyway, Sammy's standing there, mostly because I am, and he follows me around like a damn lost dog. (The freak.) 

When she asks us if we are ready to have fun, a dirty limerick comes to mind, but I refrain from saying it, because well, she'd kick my ass, and there's nothing more embarrassing than having a girl kick your ass. 

So, instead I just tell her that Sammy and I need to study, cause we do... study on how to get one dumb ass Dad not to sell his soul for our other dumb ass Dad and yet get the second dumb ass Dad back from the grave. Yeah, not as easy as it sounds, lemme tell ya.  
Especially because they're Winchesters. All of us Winchesters are stubborn asses, we know this, and frankly take pride in the fact. Yeah, okay, Dad and I do, Sammy and his Dad, probably not so much. But, it's in them too, whether they like it or not and that knowledge makes me laugh.

So, anyway, Sammy and I head back to the bat cave, close and lock the door and pull out all our papers and begin again with the typing and the figuring.

Yeah, okay, he's doing all that, me, I'm just standing there thinking about how stupid he looks and how I can not believe we're related. 

After a few minutes of me staring at him, I guess he can feel it, because he pulls his head up and looks at me. He's chewing on his bangs, they're pulled tight into his mouth, I can't see his eyes or his nose, just his mouth and hair going inside and I swear to god, if he keeps chewing it so much he's going to cough up a hair ball one day. But, he looks at me and I start cracking up laughing because he looks like fucking Cousin It from the Addams family. 

He opens his mouth and his bangs pop out and he asks me, "Wha?" and I only laugh harder, because he's such a fucking moron. 

But, then he's shushing me, because I am being way too loud and Jo is going to come knocking in on the door if I keep it up. So, I stifle my laughter and shake my head at him, telling him, "Good God, Sammy, you're such a freak! You're gonna choke on that hair one day and cough up a hair ball and Dad's gonna give you away to the pound." He simply frowns at me and goes back to chewing that hair and typing away. 

Computers are whirling, the printers are spitting out page after page, the fax machine is running, and I have no idea who the hell he's called to get this fax from. But, there it is, so I grab it and it's a conjuring spell in fucking Latin. And I'm looking from it to him and I'm kinda impressed, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna tell him that. But he grins at me anyway, the little shit, because he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. Fuckin' crumb is what he is. Crumby little brother. [huffs] 

So, anyway after a few more minutes he looks at me and shakes his head and spits his hair out of his mouth before telling me, "Dude, there is no other way for us to get Dad Sam back besides the deal." he shrugs then, "Unless we want a drippy oozing version of him anyway." 

To that I make a face and say, "I don't think Dad would like that, so no." 

He nods to me and tells me, "Exactly." So, there we are staring at one another and finally he says the dumbest thing on the planet. "I'll do it, he's my Dad, so it should be me."

I thump him in the forehead, because for being so smart he's so dumb, and I say, "No, dumb ass, he's OUR Dad and I'm older, so I'm doin' it."

He tilts his head and asks me, "What does being oldest have to do with anything?"

I grin at him then, because like I said, he's so dumb and I say, "Cause I'll kick your ass if you even think about it." 

He sighs then and looks back down at his computers. "So," I say as I walk up to him, "Question is, how are YOU gonna get me outta the deal?"

He looks up at me and shrugs and tells me, "Well, I sure as hell ain't doin' it the way our Dad's did, that takes too fuckin' long and if Dad finds out what you did, and I haven't fixed it yet, I'm a dead man." he sighs then and runs a hand through his hair, "So..." he says as his fingers fly across all four keyboards so fast my eyes can hardly keep up.

The computers whirl and hum and the printers start spitting out more papers and he sits back in his chair with s smug smirk on his face as he looks up at me and says, "I came up with something else." he shrugs then, "Because I'm just that good."

So, there we are, we got our plan all set, I know what I need to do, and Sammy knows his part. (Que Mission Impossible theme music)

Tomorrow night after we get back from seeing Dad Sam at the cemetery, Dad had planned to have Molly over for dinner, so that works out perfect, because she would keep him busy and if for some odd reason Dad had a 'no I can't do it' moment, Sammy would be here to run interference while I went and made the deal. 

Now, before that, Mr. Johnson next door has got this conversion van with a ladder on the back and Sammy and I know that to get to work he goes by the cemetery, so Sammy and I can hop on the back, ride to the cemetery and hop off, dig up Dad S's grave, pull up the coffin, get that set, for when I go later and make the deal that night. [takes a deep breath]

Now, thing is, I gotta steal Dad's car, because the car Dad bought me is still at Bobby's until I get older. (Yeah, Sammy got his bat cave of comps and I got a car. Dumb ass, brother. I asked him how he was going to get laid with no car and just a bunch of computers, but the dumb ass said he wasn't worried about that. The idiot.) 

So, I need to steal Dad's baby, and I know that if he catches me, I am so beyond dead it isn't even funny. I don't even have to worry about a deal with a demon and hell hounds ripping me apart. I'll have a demon Dad on my ass and _he’ll_ rip me apart. But, I got a plan for that too.

I'll stick the car in Neutral, push it out of the drive, then hop in it and drive like a bat outta hell before he can catch me! 

Now, this is where Sammy comes in, because he has to fake sick, and I mean really sick, like seizure sick. But, he's such a fucking drama queen I feel pretty safe. 

As for the Impala's key's I know where Dad keeps Dad Sam's spare set. [take a breath and sighs.] So, yeah... that's the plan. Fool proof, right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the sequel to, **_I Want You To Live_** & **_I still Run._**  
>  AU Fic. Sam and Dean had what seemed like the perfect life, a normal life. Two sons, a house, each other and no more hunting. One fateful night that all got ripped away. Dean is trying to live life without Sam and raise two sons and move on, but he can't let go. And now, their sons know what he and Sam use to do for a living and they hash a plan to bring their Dad Sam back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roughly based on the video by Herebutnotremembered by the same name.

Molly took me to see some movie about a bunch of dresses and some chick and her boyfriend or something, who the hell knows? All I know, is that I sat there for two hours and watched a damn chick flick and I'm not even going to get laid for my efforts. [sighs and shakes head]

At any rate, we get back to the house and we walk in to find Jo curled up at one end of the couch talking on her cell phone and my boys no where to be seen.

I raise an eyebrow at her and Jo glares back at me, then tells whoever she's talking to, to hold on a minute, before she looks at me and snaps out a, "What!?"

So, I eye her a minute before replying, "You do know why you're here tonight, right? Two boys. One about 4 foot 10 the other about 5 foot 1, kinda look like me and Sam...ring any bells with you?"

She rolls her eyes at me and jerks her head in the direction of the Danger Room. "Been in there all night." she tells me, which sends me into a panic, because the only way those two can be in the same room without trying to kill one another longer than a couple hours is when they are busy and/or up to something, and after the way they were before I left, I know, they are up to something. Dammit!

So, with a final glare at Jo, I walk to the Danger Room and try the knob, it's locked of course, so I knock. "JD? Sammy? I'm home." I call to them through the door.

I hear a lot of rustling around and Sammy giggle (he's such a girl), followed by JD swearing, then silence. 

A few seconds later the door opens and they are both standing there with these innocent looks on their faces, smiling up at me. (Yeah, right.) I'm not that dumb. "Hi, Dad." they say in unison.

I eye them for a few moments then reply, "Yeah, hi." as I look around the room, "What have you guys been up to?" I finally say when I look back at them.

They look at one another, then back at me and shrug, "Nothin'."

(Yeah, okay sure. I believe that about as much as I believe in fate or angels or unicorns or - [sighs] well, you get the picture.) So, I stand there eyeing them for a few moments trying to decide if I can yell at them for anything, because technically they haven't done anything (that I know of. At least not yet.) and finally come to the conclusion that, as much as I want to, no, I can't. 

So, instead I frown hard at them, trying to look threatening, but I don't think that they were buying it seeings as Sammy started to fiddle with his bangs and JD started to whistle Metallica like they were bored.

I huff and tell them to come say goodnight to Molly and Jo, before turning and walking away from my evil little demon children. (Oh, don't give me that, they are evil and I am thinking seriously of spiking their drinks with holy water.) 

******************************

So there we are telling Jo and Molly goodnight and Dad is eyeing us like we're the fucking Snuggle bear and he's about to perform an exorcism. 

He walks both Molly and Jo to the door and Sammy and I look at one another like we don't know what the fuck to do, because damn, there's so much to do and no time to do it in.

I look at him and finally I whisper, "You sure you know how to get me outta that deal?"

Sammy shrugs and says, "I think so." 

THINK SO!? 

I look at him like he's the moron he is and he tells me that he can't be wrong, because he's the smart one.

Yeah, he's a cocky little bitch. The ass.

Dad comes back and he's still got that look on his face like we're Damian and he's not sure how to kill us yet and Sammy and I just smile innocently up at him. 

He sighs and shakes his head. "Go get your showers." he tells us and as we turn to go he calls us back again. "Tell me the truth, are you two up to something? I won't get mad, I promise." he tells us. (Yeah, like we believe that one. Sure. We believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny too. NOT!) 

I look over at Sammy to find him shaking his head so fast his bangs are flying again and I add my own denial. "Nothing, Dad. Just hanging out together. Playing on the computers. Looking up stuff... homework." I tell him with a shrug and that grin so like his. 

He raises an eyebrow at me and sighs, then waves us off to get our showers. (My Dad's no dummy, he knows we are lying, you know it, and I know it. Hell, even Dorko over here [nods at Sammy] knows it, but it has to be. It just does.)

The night goes by pretty uneventful. Well, on our side it does anyway. I think Dad had another nightmare, cause I hear him yell Sam's name in the middle of the night, but that's nothing new. [sighs]

So, we get up, Dad's still asleep, again, nothing unusual when he has a nightmare, and I get Beanpole and I something to eat, because well, I was born hungry and Beanpole here eats like a damn horse. 

So, we eat our breakfast and finally Dad staggers down the stairs, but he's already showered and shaved and such. I use to wonder about that, I mean, he never comes down in his boxers with messy hair and sleep in his eyes like me and Sammy. Nope, he's always dressed and ready to go, but now, now I get it. It's a hunter thing. [shrugs] Odd as hell, I mean, ya just friggin' woke up! But then, who am I to say anything?

So, anyway, he stumbles in and goes to making coffee, cause Sammy and I figured it out, hunters must be like cops and live on coffee. Guess it's how they stay awake all hours of the night or somethin'. 

So, he's making his coffee and Sammy and I are exchanging looks like, 'Will he hurry the hell up?' cause we got stuff to do, graves to dig, demons to deal with, Dad's to bring back from the dead. It's a busy day for us. Ya know?

But, no, Dad's just standing there enjoying his first cup of coffee like it's a really good kiss or something. You know, eyes closed kinda thing and Sammy and I shudder involuntarily at the possibilities there. Cause dude, your Dad having sex? That's just gross, but that's what he looks like. That ecstasy look on his face. [Gags and shudders]  
GAH!!!! 

Anyway, moving right along, quickly, before I really do vomit up my breakfast...

So, FINALLY, he looks over at us with an eyebrow raised, because I guess Sammy and I have an expectant look on our faces... like the time we put the Visine in his coffee. [snickers and clears throat] (What!?! It was damn funny!)

He looks at us for a moment before looking down at his mug, then back at us and smiles that, 'I will so kill you' smile and Sammy starts shaking his head, fear in his eyes. (I only know this cause of how hard he's shaking his head. Stupid bangs in his face anyway. Me? My hair's cut short, like my Dad. A man's haircut. Not like Sammy's 'what is it?' cut.)

I smirk at my Dad and shake my head, "Now what fun would it be to do the same prank twice?" I ask him, knowing he's wondering if we did it again.

After a glare, he nods and takes another sip, still not saying anything, still not moving. Finally, I'm about to pop standing there, I just can't take the waiting anymore, so I open my mouth to ask him when we're going to see Dad Sam, when Sammy pipes up first. "We should get going, Dad. You want to be done at the cemetery and back here and, um, relax before Molly gets here after all, right?" he asks him and I glare at Sammy, because well, _I_ was going to talk and also, RELAX translates into: Not a crying mess. Trust me, we know this. 

So, I look over at Dad, hoping HE didn't translate that out, and if he did, that he isn't too upset by it, but he just nods and sets his mug down. "Good thinkin', Sammy." he tells geek boy and turns toward the coffee pot to shut it off.

Yeah, okay, so maybe geek boy didn't totally fuck up...maybe. [glares at Sammy for good measure...just in case.]

Dad tells us to go get ready, so as we're going up the stairs, I grab Dingle dork by the arm and tell him NOT to be primping today! No time for that shit! [shakes head] The freak! He glares at me from behind that wall of bangs of his and says, "I know!"

True to his word, and I'm shocked, Sammy comes out only fifteen minutes later, instead of his normal half hour to an hour primping time. But, when Dad looks up at him with a shocked look on his face I begin to wonder if it was such a good idea for the knuckle head to hurry after all. 

Damn it all!

*******************

I'm not as stupid as my boys apparently think I am, I am suspicious as hell about what it is they are up to, and then when Sammy comes out from getting ready in record time, I know I am in trouble.

I look from my oldest to my youngest and try to see if I can tell what they are planning by the looks on their faces, but they've masked their expressions well. Usually, I can read them both like a book, today, not even a little bit.

Damn it all.

I get them out and into the car and they start talking in pig Latin or gibberish or some damn thing. They think I can't understand them! HA! (Yeah, so I really can't, but still, they don't need to know that.)

So, I look in the rear view at them and raise an eyebrow, "Those are your plans for the day, huh?" I ask them and then I watch as they slowly look at one another and I'm feeling pretty smug when Sammy pipes up with, "Dad, we were talking about you and Molly." (I knew that! [glares at you] Don't give me that look!)

I nod, acting like I knew that, "Yeah, I know." I snap back at him, before looking out the side window and muttering under my breath. Damn kids.

_Sammy, what the hell were you thinkin' leaving me, ME, with two kids to raise!?_

I sigh and shake my head at that thought. One, I'm sure Sam hadn't planned on leaving me with two kids. I mean, hell, it isn't like he planned on dying... although it would be the prank to end all pranks. Leave the one who wasn't even able to name three kids with two of his own to raise alone. That thought just makes me grumble all the more.

We arrive at the cemetery, and we all pile out of the car, heading to Sam's grave.  
I walk over as the boys run off in another direction which is nothing out of the ordinary. They hate coming here usually. Not that they hate to visit Sam, but we always come away feeling hurt and empty...or maybe that's just me?

I go to his gave and kneel in front of the head stone. "Hey Sammy." I say softly, as I reach out with a hand, running it over the marble like I would his face if he were back and standing before me. "I, uh, I need to tell you something." I say, as I have yet to tell him about Molly, and I have a feeling that maybe, just maybe she has figured out that I'm not gay the way she was acting last night and well, that might lead to something else, I'm thinkin'.

So, I clear my throat as I look away, unable to look at the stone, as though I were looking into those hazel eyes. "I met someone and I think we might be, uh..." I shrug and look back at the marble with a grin. 

"I won't forget you, Sammy, I've told you that and I'll aways love you, but it's been eight years and well.." I let my voice trail off as I don't know how to tell him that I need to move on without him.

I hang my head and slowly pull to my feet. "I love you, Sammy." I say softly, before turning to walk back to the car. Apparently I'm crying as I notice that my cheeks are wet, though before that I hadn't really noticed. 

*******************************

We get to the cemetery and as Dad is going to Dad Sam's grave, Sammy and I head off to the little shed at the back of the cemetery as we know there are shovels there. We grab them up and run them out to the woods, stashing them behind a tree. When we come back later that little shed will be closed and locked and well, if we run out of the garage with shovels, Dad's not that dumb, he'll know we're up to something.

Walking back from our little grab and stash mission, we see Dad walking to the car and figure it must be our turn, so we head to Dad Sam's grave.

As we stand there, Sammy's talking dribble to the stone like his father was actually standing there, but not me. I'm standing there with my arms crossed over my chest, just waiting for the blubbering one, to finish. He does, with a hug to the stone and a whispered, "We'll see you soon Dad." He turns and looks at me like he's waiting for me to do the same thing, but nope, not gonna. I shake my head and walk over, tap my fist lightly on the head stone, frowning slightly as I fight back tears, cause well, Winchester's don't cry. I mean, sure my Dad does over Sam, but that's different. He doesn't over anything else, ever. So, yeah, Winchester's don't cry. If we had our ankle caught in a bear trap and had just chewed off that ankle to escape and a gnat flew in our eye, then maybe, MAYBE we'd shed one tiny tear.   
So, I sniffle and nod my head. "Yup, what the geek said, We'll see ya soon, Dad." I whisper, before turning and walking toward the Impala, Sammy following after me.

The ride back home is silent, all of us lost in our own thoughts. 

Me, I'm planning and scheming, Geek boy over there, looking out the side window is probably bawling or some other girly thing, and Dad, well, I'm not quite sure, I can't see his face too well in the rear view, but I can see the white knuckled grip he has on the steering wheel, so I can't figure it's too good. Damn Sundays anyway...

We get to the house and Sammy and I climb out of the car and are running to the house, before Dad can even get his door open. This is probably not the smartest move on our part seeings as we are usually bugging him on Sundays to go either to Bobby's or Ellen's and today, we aren't. 

We want back into the house so bad, I'm thinking of breakin a window if the old man doesn't fucking hurry up and move his ass! 

Finally, he gets there and he's unlocking the door and to my amazement he doesn't seem to notice how eager we are to get inside. Which is good on one hand, cause we've got a lot of shit to do, but bad on the other, cause it means that this trip, this visit was especially hard on him for some reason. 

I sigh softly and wish I had the time to talk to him about it, but I don't. I have a corpse to dig up and a date with a demon to keep!

Sammy and I run into the house and head right for the bat cave, closing and locking the door behind us. I shake my head because Einstein has got a huge banner taped to the wall now that reads: Salt and burn, baby!. (dumb ass!)

Like Dad won't ever come in here and when he does and he sees that, Sammy and I are both dead... but hey, at least we'll be in hell together, right? I can continue to torment him there.... [blinks] Oh wait, that would be my heaven. Oh well...

So, Sammy and I are making copies of Grandpa's journal pages, some pages from a book Dad Sam had and then we're running to the door and out, closing it behind us.

As we run through the living room, I see Dad sitting on the couch, staring at the black TV screen and my steps falter for a half second. Damn, talk about your hard days... Well, no time now to worry about it. Got a grave to dig.

Sammy and I run up stairs, change clothes into something we can easily trash when we're done, cause I'm figuring we're gonna be a mess when we get home and well, Dad doesn't need to see our mud covered clothes... like I said, he's not stupid. 

Sammy's changed and ready and has the window by my bed open as I'm throwing my tee over my head. 

I look at him and swallow hard, giving him a curt nod. "You ready for this, Sammy?" I ask him. He grins and nods back to me, so I go out the window first.

I'm jumping off the lattice work onto the ground and Sammy is crawling out the window when he looks over his shoulder and whispers to me, "We have a problem."

I'm about two seconds away from a panic attack thinking Dad just walked into the room now. "What is it!?" I whisper back, loudly, angrily.

"The salt line is broken. If Dad sees this and we aren't here..." Sammy tells me, then shrugs, as he looks from me back to the window, but thank God, he's still making his way down. We don't have time to worry about Dad and his damn salt lines right now.

"It'll be fine, Sammy. We'll be back before he misses us, now come on!" I tell him as I look over toward the neighbors, the ones with the van. It won't be long now and he will be leaving for work, we have to really get a move on before we miss him and miss our chance for this.

Sammy drops to the ground in a mass of long legs, hair and denim and there I stand shaking my head at him like he's a circus freak. "Come on egghead." I mumble as I head toward the bushes between the neighbors house and our own.

The van is pulling out of the drive way and I look over at Sammy and nod. "When I say, Sammy, run for it." I tell him. He nods at me, staring intently through that mop of hair of his at the van. 

"NOW!" I yell and we're off! Both running like bats out of hell after the van. 

Sammy's leading because he's got these freakishly long legs! I so can't have him beat me to the van... I mean, COME ON! So, I kick in the turbo drive, and I'm running like there's no tomorrow, finally catch up to Speedy Gonzales, the freak, and then run past him, laughing slightly at him as I do, because well, again, I WIN!

I get within a few inches of the ladder and I jump for it, nearly falling under the damn van as I grab on. Fucking asshole! Speed up why don't you! Geesh! Can't you see I'm trying to hitch a ride here! (yeah yeah I know, he can't that's the whole idea, but still, it made me look bad.) 

So, I pull myself up onto the ladder, standing on the second rung and I look back at Sammy, who is still running, but he's close enough to jump on, waiting for me to move, I figure. I hold out a hand to him and tell him, "Come on, Sammy, jump, I got ya."

He reaches out, grabs my hand and jumps! And damn if he doesn't jump on with out a problem! I hate him sometimes! [grumbles under breath] Of course, he jumps up so fast and hard, he almost smashes me against the ladder, but otherwise, we're good.

We ride that way all the way to the cemetery, which is about five miles from home, over a bridge and through a damn tunnel. Yeah, I know, sounds like a fucking Christmas song, don't it? [shakes head] 

Anyway, we get to the cemetery and I am thinking we got it made as there's a stop light right there next to the cemetery, all we gotta do is step off when the van stops, right?

WRONG!

The damn light never turns red! What the hell!?!? Is some cosmic force against us bringing our Dad back from the grave or something!?! Geesh!

So, I'm standing there, hanging onto the ladder swearing like a fucking sailor and Sammy's looking at me with this puzzled look on his face, probably because I've attached some cuss words together that don't belong together. [shrugs] I dunno.

"Okay, Sammy, we gotta make a jump for it. Tuck and roll, dude, tuck and roll." I tell him with a smirk. 

He looks at me like I've just grown another head, but then he nods. (The things I can talk him into doing astounds me sometimes)

So, as we're taking the turn away from the cemetery, I yell, "JUMP!" and we both let go and we're jumping. 

Me, I take my own advice. My feet hit the pavement and I fold myself in half and roll into the soft grass of the curb. 

Sammy? He apparently thought I was kidding. He hits the pavement, same as me, feet land solid and then he just kinda crumbles... Like a house of cards....in the middle of the road....a BUSY road! (oh hell!)

"Sammy!!" I yell at him, as I'm scrambling up out of the grass to run toward him.

There's a semi heading our way and I have visions run through my head of watching my brother get smushed like when you run over jelly packets on your motorcycle and watch the fillings spray out. Yeah, I can just see me explaining that one... 

_"Dad, sorry, but Sammy's dead. He got smushed. We went to dig up Dad Sam and dumb ass didn't move out of the way of a semi and his brains splattered across the pavement...but if it makes you feel any better, it looked really cool._ [shakes head] (Nope, that would NOT go over well at all.)

I get to my feet and I'm running his way, when he gets up and starts limping my way. We meet somewhere in the middle and I wrap my arm around his waist and lead him off the road just as the semi goes by blowing his horn at us. So, of course, I flip him off. ( The ass) 

We get to the side of the road and I look over at Sammy as he steps away from me. "What the hell did you do?"

He shrugs at me, "I jumped and hurt my ankle. I didn't think you really meant to tuck and roll." he tells me. I just roll my eyes at him and sigh. (What a moron)

"You okay?" I ask him, lifting an eyebrow, the way Dad does when he asks us the same question, as I look from his face, down to his ankle he's favoring.

"Yeah, it'll be okay." he tells me.

So, I turn and head toward the cemetery muttering under my breath about fragile brothers and asking whoever might be listening what good they are.

We go grab the shovels, Sammy's limping around behind me like Quasimodo and I just have to sigh and shake my head at him every so often because he's such a mess that I can't believe we're related. 

We're digging the grave now and half way down I stop and look over at Sammy and he's covered in dirt, there's a determined look in his eyes, his hair is plastered to his face and there's a mud smeared where he pushed the hair out of his eyes when he started to sweat.

He isn't stopping, he isn't looking at me, he's just digging. I sigh and shake my head at him. Kid might be a mess, but he's a determined mess, and he's my baby brother, and well... I'm kinda proud of him. (If you ever tell him that I will so deny it!) 

I look back down at the dirt below me and start digging again. This is taking a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would and that fact alone is pissing me off. I mean, hell, what if Dad has went to our room to check on us? The broken salt line, the open window... he's gotta be freaking by now. Dammit to hell. 

I was on about my two hundredth ‘dammit to hell’ when my shovel hit something solid, as did Sammy's. I look over at him, eyes wide and grin. The coffin! 

We both drop our shovels and crouch, begin digging with our hands, dusting off the coffin top, cleaning the dirt away from the sides so we can grab it and pull the coffin out. We get it to where we think we can grab it and I look up at Sammy, and he looks at me. 

I nod, still grinning. "You ready?"

"Ready." he tells me, and together we try to lift the coffin out of the ground. 

Now... I don't know if you have ever tried to lift a coffin out of the ground before or not, but let me explain something to you. 

[clears throat] My Dad, got Dad Sam the best coffin money could buy, so this sucker is heavy, plus add the weight of Dad Sam. Okay, he might be all eewy gewy gross mess now, but um, I'm thinking his weight remained... that or the coffin began to become one with the earth, because dude, it ain't budging! Not even a little. 

Sammy has this look on his face like I just stole his favorite toy and I'm swearing like there's not tomorrow.

"Dammit, Sammy! Don't you cry! Don't you fucking cry!" I yell at him as he looks at me, his bottom lip quivering.

I sigh and run a filthy hand through my hair as I look around, trying to figure out what the hell to do. There's nothing I can do. We need a damn crane, a front loader. Friggin Superman! And sadly, none of those things are available to us.

I hear Sammy sniffle and look over at him, my green eye blazing. "Sammy! I told you not to do that! I'll handle this!"

I watch him nod, but he doesn't look convinced. Well, slap my ass and call me Charlie! Who would have thought this would have went so far to shit!? Now what the hell do I do!? 

I sigh as my head hangs and I bite my lip. "Okay, Sammy, here's what we're going to do..." I tell him, as I slowly raise my head to look at him.

"You are going back home alone tonight. I am going to make that deal now. Not later after dinner. Now." I sigh and look back down at the coffin, "If I don't they are just gonna rebury Dad Sam and all this will have been for nothing." I tell him, as I look at him, green eyes meeting hazel. 

"You're going to go home and I'll go with you as far as the front yard. I'm gonna hotwire Dad's baby, steal her and go to the crossroads. You need to fake sick, go to our room and climb out the window, come back here and open the coffin when I call you! Not until I call you, Sammy! You understand me!?"

I watch as he nods slowly at me, the expression on his face, I'm not real sure about. Horror maybe? Shock? I dunno. It isn't pretty whatever it is. But, this is the only way this is going to work now. It has to happen this way. And Sammy has to be here to open the coffin, otherwise, Dad's going to come back, locked in a box!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the sequel to, **_I Want You To Live_** & **_I still Run._**  
>  AU Fic. Sam and Dean had what seemed like the perfect life, a normal life. Two sons, a house, each other and no more hunting. One fateful night that all got ripped away. Dean is trying to live life without Sam and raise two sons and move on, but he can't let go. And now, their sons know what he and Sam use to do for a living and they hash a plan to bring their Dad Sam back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roughly based on the video by Herebutnotremembered by the same name.

I sit there in front of the black TV for, I dunno, hours, I guess. All I can think about is Sam, how much I miss him, what I said to Sam today. Maybe I was wrong to bring it up. Can I move on? Really? I think about Molly, and she makes me smile, I really like her, but... she isn't Sam.

I know my kids are up to something. I knew it the second they were in a hurry to get back into the house, but I can't even bring myself to give enough of a shit to go look, not right now anyway. It isn't that I don't care, I do. I'm just numb. I feel empty and numb. The house could explode right now and I think I'd just sit here and let it engulf me. Sure, I'd yell to JD and Sammy to get out, and then I'd just curl up here on this mammoth couch, the Sam sized one and let the flames eat away at me. [sigh]

Finally, I tell myself to stop being such a Goddamn girl and go check on my kids and live life. Sam would want me to. [huffs] (Easy for him to say. The bitch.)  
As I walk up the stairs, I notice that it's near dark already, apparently I really had been sitting there for hours. Damn. 

Reaching their room, I open the door and the first thing my eyes land on is the open window and the broken salt line. Panic grips me for a brief moment, before hunter instincts kick in. There's no sulfur and the kids clothes are on the floor that they had been wearing. Okay, so they snuck out the window. Why? Where the hell did they go? I turn around, slamming their door closed behind me and march back down the stairs, heading straight for no mans land. The Danger Room. I just have this feeling I will find my answers there.

Half way to the Danger Room, the front doorbell rings and I am forced to stop and answer the door, though I'm not thrilled about it. I want my answers and I just know that they lay behind that closed door. 

So, I walk over to the door, cussing like a sailor and yank the door wide open, green eyes blazing at whoever has interrupted my finding out what the hell is going on in my own house, only to find Molly standing there smiling up at me. (Oh shit, Molly!!!)  
I had forgotten all about our dinner date. I was supposed to cook us up something. FUCK!

"Dean?" she says to me, speaking slowly, like I'm retarded or something.

I huff and nod to her, stepping to the side so she can come in, and that's when I see him. Sammy, walking up the drive way looking like he'd just been buried in mud, his hair is matted to his head, there's streaks of clean skin from what I can only assume is sweat, as I can smell him from here, and his body is covered in mud.

I haven't the slightest clue what tee and jeans he has on, because now they are simply the color of dirt and his shoes are even worse. (WHAT THE FUCK!?!)

Molly has stepped inside, but I don't even notice as I am too busy glaring at my youngest.

"Where is your brother!?" I ask him, and I know he can tell how pissed I am. 

For one, I can hear it in my own voice, for another, he freezes mid-step and looks up at me, when he had been looking down at his feet, his hazel eyes are wide and there's a deer caught in headlights look about him.

"Uh, I dunno." he tells me, (LIE!) then shrugs and continues forward, "Around."

I watch him as he walks toward me, then hold a hand out, stopping him from crossing the threshold of the front door. "Uh-uh, mister. You're not coming in like that. Strip." I tell him, shaking my head.

He looks up at me, then over to Molly, his mouth hanging open and I can see the panic in his eyes and it gives me a twisted kind of satisfaction knowing that he's going to be embarrassed as hell. (Hey! He's lied to me, how many times!? About time Dad got a little payback!)

I watch as he sighs and starts kicking off his shoes, then slowly pulls his shirt up and off, over his head. He starts to walk in then and I raise my hand again, shaking my head. "Pants too." I tell him.

"Dude!" he whines at me, looking from me to Molly, who, I see as I glance her way, is hiding a grin behind her hand as she watches him.

I look back at my son and raise an eyebrow. "Then where's your brother?"  
(Ah-ha! Gotcha!) 

He looks at me for a long moment, then clenches his jaw as his eyes narrow on me and he looks so much like Sam when we were confronted with one of those evil sonofabitches, that I have to look away. 

I look back at Molly, who is looking away now, giving Sammy privacy as he strips off his jeans and drops them on the porch, then storms past me in his boxers and up the stairs.   
"Take a long hot shower!" I yell up at him, then mumble under my breath, "You smell like hell warmed over."

I look back a Molly and sigh, hang my head for a moment before confessing to her, "I didn't make dinner, I went to see Sam today, and well, it - it was a hard visit for me."

She nods to me and smiles softly, "It's okay," she tells me, "We'll order out."

I nod and turn, heading for the closed door on the other side of the living room.  
I haven't forgotten where I was headed before all this started. Not by a long shot.

"Dean?" I hear Molly say as I am striding toward the Danger Room, but I don't answer, "Dean, what's going on?" Again, I remain silent on the matter.

I reach the Danger Room, my hand is on the knob and I pause. Why? I haven't the faintest idea. Maybe because I know that when I open this door that everything I ever wanted to know about why my sons have been acting the way they have will be revealed to me and I'm not sure I want to really know... or maybe it's simply because I am preparing myself for the worst. But, in any case, I pause... 

Taking a deep breath, I turn the knob and throw open the door. What I see takes my breath away. I was NOT ready for this.

I had thought maybe they were into drugs, drinking, something illegal, something...normal. I had NO idea....

I gasp and I guess it's loud, because suddenly Molly is standing beside me, looking into the room.

"Salt and burn...baby?" she asks me, her voice pure and total confusion, but I know what it means. I know what those papers are scattered everywhere.

THEY KNOW!!! MY BOYS KNOW!!!

I storm into the room, hands clenching and unclenching at my sides, I am beyond pissed. I'm not sure at the moment if I am more angry at them for finding out or myself for not hiding it well enough. 

Sam's gonna KILL me! 

(Yeah, okay, maybe he isn't seeings as he's dead, but it's the thought that he would _so_ not have wanted this that will kill me.) 

I walk over to the wall of computers I had bought for my brainiac son and I do something I told myself I would never do. I do a scan to see where they have been, what they have been looking at. 

I take a seat in the chair there, more because I don't think I can stand than because I want to, as the information comes back to me.

Birth records - opened.  
Ghost, demon, and other assorted baddies information scrolls across the screen.  
And then there's Dad's journal. They've typed page after page of it into the computer.... including. No. Oh no... 

My hand covers my mouth as I read about my selling my soul to bring back Sam, and of my experiences there, what I can remember anyway.

After that, there's new data, things from the book Sam had stashed away in his drawer, the one I had been looking through, and some stuff from Bobby's house. I know, because I remember seeing it there long ago. (FUCK! Did Bobby tell them!?)

I feel, rather than see Sammy walk in and freeze beside Molly, just inside the door.  
I look up at him and I have no idea what to say, he looks at me like the kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"You...know?" I manage out in a whisper.

He nods to me, "Everything." he says, then walks over and reaches out, shutting off his computer in front of me. My eyes follow the movement, but it doesn't register until I look back and the screen is black with the Mission Impossible Logo on it. 

Mission Impossible!?

My eyes widen at Sammy and I sit forward, grabbing his arm, jerking him forward. "What are you two up to!?!?" I demand and I know I'm freaking, I know my words are loud and panic filled. I can see Molly taking a step toward me, and Sammy's pulling away from me.

I am about to scream the question at him again, when I hear my baby start up out side. I let go of my son's arm, eyes wide and stand to my feel. (OH NO!)

*******************************

Sammy and I make our way back home, it's a long walk, and we're dead tired. So tired we forget to ditch our clothes, so when Dad sees Sammy, I'm freaking as I hide in the bushes, waiting for them all to go inside so I can go hotwire the Impala. [grins] (Yeah, I can hotwire a car, I think I knew how to do that before I could tie my own shoes.)

Finally, they go inside after Sammy's impromptu strip show. [shudders] And I'm off, racing toward the Impala, opening the door as quiet as I can... (Good lord that thing is loud when you want to be quiet!)

I'm laying across the seat, pulling out the wires I need and trying to get it started.  
Coaxing her, like I've heard Dad do when she's almost out of gas and we need to get to the gas station. "Come on, baby. Start for me, now." I tell her softly as I fiddle with this thing, swearing. I see the sparks but nothing happens.

Then FINALLY, I got her! She's purring like a kitten.... a goddamn LOUD ass kitten!  
(FUCK!)

I quickly sit up, and throw her into neutral, then push her out the driveway. Thank god for adrenaline otherwise I don't think I could have done it on my own! The bitch is heavy! I get her into the street, run around to the still open door and jump in, just as I see my Dad, Sammy and Molly throw open the front door.

Just to be a smart ass, I wave at Sammy, who's grinning at me and waves back.

Dad's glaring so hard I think he's going to break his face and I can hear him swearing from where I am. (WITH the windows rolled up!)

"Come on Sammy, make me proud." I mutter under my breath as I head for the crossroads.

*********************************

I am so pissed, because I know, I don't have to look, I know who is stealing my baby. 

So, when I am suddenly standing at the door watching him drive away in her, it doesn't really shock me that I don't remember moving from the Danger Room. Sammy is standing beside me on the porch waving to his brother like they just did the coolest thing on the planet. (SO totally NOT cool!)

I walk off the porch into the yard and scream an ultra loud, "FUCK!" as I watch JD drive off in the Impala. I turn then, angry green eyes on Sammy, who's smile suddenly falls as he backs up into the house. "WHERE THE HELL IS HE GOING, JAMES SAMUEL!?!" (Yeah, I am so far beyond pissed I can't even see pissed right now, pissed was a million miles back down the road in the opposite direction!) And do you want to know what that little shit had the nerve, THE NERVE, to do!?! He friggin' shrugs at me and mutters out an, "I dunno." (LIE!!!) They are SO in this together! I am NOT THAT damn dumb! COME ON!!!

He continues toward him and at least, AT LEAST, he has the sense to keep backing up into the house. 

He's standing in the middle of the living room now, Molly is between us, but a little to the side, looking from Sammy to me and back with wide eyes. I narrow mine even more at Sammy and speak low and deadly to him, "James Samuel, you tell me right the fuck now what is going on or so help me-"

Me words are cut off as Sammy stand as tall as his five foot one inch frame will allow, shoulders back and shakes his head at me, jaw clenched in determination. "No, Dad," he tells me, "Not this time. I can't. I won't."

My mouth opens but I am so mad at this point that I can't seem to form any of the words of the English language, so I snap it back closed and turn around heading for the door.

Sammy yells behind me in a panic, "Where are you going?"

I don't turn around, but I do pause long enough to answer him, "To get your brother and my car back."

Suddenly the door slams shut in front of me. "No, Dad, you're not. Not yet anyway." I hear Sammy say behind me, his voice is low, like when Sam use to back talk Dad, deadly almost. 

I turn and look at Sammy, and I guess I must have had a shocked look on my face, because he smirks slightly at me as he crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow. "Come on, Dad. Did you really think I wouldn't inherit any of those powers?" It hadn't hit me until then, until that very moment just WHO or what had closed that door. I swear I must have looked like a goddamn cartoon character with my eyes bugging out of my head and my jaw on the floor, because that was how I felt. Had I woken up with my face sewn to the floor I wouldn't have been more surprised then I was right then.

I turn my head and look at the door, then back to Sammy, "JD, does he...?"

Sammy shakes his head at me. "JD doesn't know. No one does," he shrugged then and looked from me to Molly and back, "Until now."

I run a hand through my hair and sigh as I look at him. "When did you know?" I ask him. Again, he shrugs and I could all but break his shoulder if he lifts the damn thing at me one more time. 

"I dunno...just kinda always was always there, I guess." he tells me. I run a hand over my face as I stand there not knowing what to say, what to tell him.

"You need to just stay here, Dad. Have dinner with Molly, and JD and I will be back later. We'll have a surprise for you when we come home tonight." he tells me with a smile. 

And of course, I shake my head at him. "Oh no, mister, you aren't going anywhere." I tell him. But, again, I get the cocky smile (he's been hanging around JD too much apparently) and then he tilts his head to the side. "Dad, don't make me embarrass you in front of Molly. I'm faster and better than you are." Okay, he is SUCH a dead man!!!

*****************************

I smirk at my Dad (yeah, it's me Sammy) and get ready for him, cause I know my butt is toast. He's gonna friggin' kill me now.

I move to the left, he moves to the left, I move to the right, he moves to the right, I make a break for it and I'm running up the stairs and I can hear him running up them behind me. I'm running down the hall toward mine and JD's room, and I no longer hear him, but I know my Dad, I didn't lose him, he's doing something sneaky.

Sure enough as I get to our room door, he's there. He makes a grab for me, and I barely dodge him, running back down the hall and then down the stairs toward the front door. I hear him laughing behind me and I look over my shoulder. He has my shoes in his hand and he's grinning at me. "Missing somethin'? he asks me. Silly Dad, hasn't he learned by now? 

I focus my attention on the shoes, nothing but the shoes, see them in my minds eye coming to me, and "WHAMO!" they are! Dad's got this shocked look on his face as I catch them in mid air, grinning at him. I simply roll my eyes at him and run for the door.

"Later, Dad!" I yell as I run out, not even bothering to close the door behind me. 

As I'm running I'm putting my shoes on, but it's okay, I have a good lead on him now. And then I hear it. Molly's car. Oh shit!!! No, no, no!!!

I take off into the woods, a short cut to the cemetery that I never told JD about. I'm not sure if he knew anyway or not, but I use to walk there... during days when he and Dad would be working on the car, I'd walk out and see my Dad.

So, I know this way like the back of my hand, it doesn't matter that it's dark out now. I know where every fallen tree and limb are. And I'm running like my life depends on it.

Bad part about my short cut is, is that toward the end, a little away from the bridge and tunnel, you have to run out of the woods and take the main road. And that's when he catches me! Dammit to hell!

My cell phone is ringing and I don't need to look, I know who it is. So, I'm struggling for all I'm worth to break free from him, but he's got a death grip on me and he's not letting go. "Dad!!! Let. me. go.!!!!" I scream at him.

"No! No, Sammy! No!" he yells back at me, and I blurt it out, I know it's the only thing that will make him let me go.

"Dad!!! Dad Sam needs me!!! Let go!!!"

He lets me go with a shove and he's looking at me, his eyes are wide, confused, and maybe...is that...terrified?

"What did you say?" he asks me, his voice is soft, a whisper of breath.

I look up at him, then toward the cemetery, the way I need to go and back at him. "Dad Sam is alive, Dad. I have to go! He's locked in that damn coffin you bought him!" 

I'm crying and blubbering now, and I start to run, but he grabs me around the waist and pulls me toward the car. "Let's go!" he says as he shoved me toward the back door, as he's opening the driver side door and sliding in.

********************************

I'm at the crossroads and I've shoved my school ID and the other needed items into the band-aid tin I brought with me. Lord only knows what the hell the crossroad demon needs 70 cents in change for... cab fair? [shakes head and rolls eyes] Hell if I know.

But, it's in there. All of it. So, I have the hole dug and I am burying the tin and now I'm waiting and looking around. Nothing. Not a damn thing.   
Damn it all, if Sammy was wrong, I am so going to kick his little geeky ass!

"Little JD Winchester."

I whirl around to find this hot ass babe, smirking at me. Wow...the devil wears tight black dresses and is smokin' hot apparently. 

Oh, wait, she's a demon, not the devil. Yeah, okay... [rollseyes] Whatever. Either way, she's fuckin amazing lookin'.

I swallow, rolling my shoulders and tell myself to play it cool. "Yeah, that's me, and you are?" I ask her. 

She smiles as she walks around me looking me up and down, "I'm the woman who's going to make all your dreams come true." she tells me.

And I'd be lying if I said I didn't almost swallow my tongue... cause I did.

But, in Winchester style, I raise an eyebrow at her and smirk back, "Oh really?" I ask her.

She stops then and tilts her head at me, "Really, JD, I would have thought that your Daddy would have warned you about crossroad deals." her eyes glow red as she says this and I am reminded at that moment that she isn't just any hot broad, but a bitch from hell.  
"Mmm," I say, with a shrug of my shoulders, "Point is, are you willing to deal?"

She nods, "It's what I do, Jimmy boy, it's what I do."

[licks lips, eyeing demon] "I want my Dad, Sam, alive, healthy. Want him to live out a long full happy life with my Dad Dean." I tell her, as she begins pacing around me again, making a tsking sound as she does.

"Oh, baby, baby. Now, isn't there something _you_ want? Never mind Daddy Dean, what does JD want?" she says to me.

I clamp my mouth shut so hard I think I am probably breaking my teeth, as I glare at her. "That," I say through clenched teeth, "IS what I want."

She stops before me then and sighs, "And what do I get?"

I shrug, like I am going to play into her hand? Not! "What do you want?" I ask her.

"Your soul, baby boy. Your soul. You get six months and only six months to be with Daddy Dean and Sam and then it's curtains for you pretty boy. Then, you're all mine." she tells me.

SIX MONTHS!?!? 

Fuck me! Hell, Dad got a year! What the fuck? What is there a shortage of souls in hell now? Deals have lost their allotted time range? Inflation? What the hell? But, I think about Dad and about how hard this has been on him and I think about Sammy and how much he wants his Dad back and well, before I realize what I'm doing, I'm nodding to her.

"Okay." I tell her, my voice, coming out softer, more scared than I meant for it to, so I clear my throat and say again, louder, with more assurance, "Yes, fine."

She smiles at me and tilts her head, "You are easier than your Dad was, JD," she makes that tsking noise again, "You Winchesters really must love Sammy."

And then, before I know what to think, before I can reply or form coherent thought, her lips are crushed to mine and her tongue is jammed halfway down y throat. 

Holy hell! My first **real** kiss (because you can't count Marcy Heartfall, she didn't use tongue and she kisses every damn boy on the planet) and it's from a damn demon!! Oh hell!

Next thing I know, I'm standing there all alone. No hot demon babe, no tongue down my throat, nothing. 

I reach into my pocket as I turn and start running toward the Impala, pull out my cell and call Sammy. 

HOLY FUCK!!! DAD'S BACK!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the sequel to, **_I Want You To Live_** & **_I still Run._**  
>  AU Fic. Sam and Dean had what seemed like the perfect life, a normal life. Two sons, a house, each other and no more hunting. One fateful night that all got ripped away. Dean is trying to live life without Sam and raise two sons and move on, but he can't let go. And now, their sons know what he and Sam use to do for a living and they hash a plan to bring their Dad Sam back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roughly based on the video by Herebutnotremembered by the same name.

I can't believe what Sammy has said to me. That Sam needs him... I know of only one way that Sam could be needing anyone... and that thought alone scares the shit out of me. I'm so torn right now, I don't know what to feel.

On one hand I am about to have my Sam back. My brother, my lover, my world. And you have NO idea how good, how overjoyed, how fucking fantastic that makes me feel...

But on the other hand, my oldest son, has just sold his soul for my Sammy's life and I know I'm going to lose my boy in this... sooner or later, and that thought is tearing at my heart, hurting like a sonuvabitch and slowly killing me.

As I'm driving, gas pedal to the floor, Molly looks over at me from the passenger seat, her eyes wide and asks me, "What's going on, Dean? What is it?"

I shake my head, my jaw tense, mouth clamped tightly shut, because I don't think at this point I can form human words anyway. Maybe a few grunts and whimpers, but no real words. I'll have to explain all this to her later, much later.

After I have Sam in my arms, after I see JD again, find out about the deal, and after I puke a few times, maybe...

*********************

So, my Dad has it floored, (yes, it's Sammy again, god people, keep up!) I can tell he does, not because we're going all that fast in Molly's little Mazda, but because I can hear the engine running all out, sounding like a cat with it's tail caught under a rocking chair.

Dad turns the car into the cemetery lot and we're Bajaing across the lawn toward Dad Sam's grave. 

Dad's cussing up a storm and Molly is shrieking. 

Me, I'm holding onto the 'oh shit' handle on the ceiling of the backseat, eyes wide as I watch Dad, maneuver through the cemetery, missing headstones and graves, but not by much as he gets us as close to Dad Sam's grave as possible. 

The car stops and before he even turns off the engine, Dad's door is open and he's out of the car, running for Dad Sam's grave. It's still all dug up, (thank God) so, I figure he knows why I was a filthy mess now.

I'm out of the back seat and running behind him toward the grave too. The car shuts off and I hear another door open and close, but it doesn't register that Molly turned off her car and got out, not then anyway. All my attention is on my Dad as he runs to Dad Sam's grave and falls to his knees.

*************************

My hands are shaking as I reach for the latches on the coffin. 

Just under this lid, is Sam. My Sam. Come back to me. 

Digits work at the latches, and I'm fumbling, not getting very far, so I start cussing under my breath and as the wind picks up a bit, I realize why I can't see the latches so well; tears are running down my cheeks, though I don't realize it until then. 

I finally get the latches open and throw back the lid. 

There he is, my Sam. Not all eewy gewy mess, but whole, and beautiful. 

His eyes are closed and the fact that he isn't a pile of dust doesn't hit me in that moment, all that does is the fact that his fucking eyes are still closed!

"Sammy?" I say, my voice a choked whisper.

I watch as hazel eyes, the most beautiful hazel eyes on the planet flicker open and he takes in a gasp of air. 

Those hazel eyes slide to me as his face forms a frown, "Dean?" he whispers out, his voice rough.

I'm smiling through my tears and my chest hurts, but it's a good kind of hurt, not like when he died. I reach for him then, pulling him into my arms so that he's only half sitting in his coffin, my face buried in his neck.

"Dean? Where... how...?" he asks me, his voice still soft, rough, weak.

I pull back and look at him, look into his confused eyes and I'm grinning like a damn fool as I shake my head.

"Where are Jimmy?" he asks, swallows, and finishes, "Johnny?"

I turn my head and look over at Sammy who is standing a few steps away from us, tears streaming down his face as he watches us. 

Sam slowly turns his head and looks at Sammy, "Jimmy?"

"Daddy!" Sammy squeaks out, before running over to us, and throwing his arms around Sam.

Sam hugs him back, as he looks at me. I nod toward Sammy. 

"Our baby boy." I tell him, watch a Sam blinks, his eyes growing a bit wider. 

"It's been," I swallow, try to swallow back the lump in my throat, "eight years, baby." I tell him softly.

Sammy's got his head buried in Sam's neck now, crying like JD just punched him in the face. 

I've still got my arms wrapped around Sam, because I can't let go, I don't want to let go. Not ever again. 

That's when I hear my baby, I hear the engine as she's turning into the cemetery lot, heading straight for us. 

But, JD's not watching where's he'd driving, so he's running over graves, knocking over head stones. (IN MY CAR!!!)

Finally, my baby comes to a stop and the engine shuts off, the driver side door opens and JD's running toward us. He left the door wide open, but I'm not thinking about that... (no, really, I'm not...he could have closed it, wouldn't have taken but another minute, but I'm not thinking about that. [coughs])

I watch as JD makes it all but three steps away from us, then he stops and grins that grin only he and I can do, tilts his head to the side and says, "Well, fuck me, it worked!" 

That's when Sammy pulls his head up from Sam's shoulder, I see, as I look back over toward Sam and Sammy, and Sammy looks over at JD, wipes at his tears and replies, "Of course it worked! I told you it would work!"

I sigh and shake my head at the both of them, though I can't seem to muster up any anger at them, not really. Fear, dread, and a bit of confusion on how they planned all this and accomplished it without my knowing sooner, but not real anger.

I unwrap one of my arms from around Sam and reach out to JD, wave him over with that hand. He comes over to me then and I hug him to me. I'm still holding onto Sam, as I said, I can't seem to let go of him, I'm hugging JD and Sammy's clinging to Sam. Yeah, there we are, one big happy messed up family.

That's when I hear a loud sniffle and a stuttering intake of breath. I look in the direction it's coming from to find Molly standing there, her hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her cheeks, as she looks at the four of us.

I smile slightly for her and clear my throat before saying in a harsh whisper, "Molly, I'd like you to meet my Sam."

She nods to me, as her hand falls from her mouth. She's smiling, and crying as she hurries over to us and hugs all four of us.

My eyes meet Sam's and I see the confusion in his eyes. I mouth to him that I'll explain later, so he looks down at Sammy, kisses the top of his head as Sammy lays his head back down on Sam's shoulder.

And then this becomes the worlds biggest chick-flick moment ever as we're engulfed with kisses. Molly is kissing all of us, me, JD, Sam, and Sammy as she’s crying.

Sam looks at me and the look on his face is priceless, I would laugh if the situation weren't what it was. He looks at me with this, 'Dude, what the hell? I'm in a coffin, in a suit, our kids are grown and some strange woman is kissing all of us like she's our long lost relative! What the fuck!?' look. Yeah, it's a priceless look. [smirks]

After everyone, and by everyone I mean, Molly and the kids, not me, because I'm not doing it, stops crying like girls, we all kinda pull back from Sam, so he can get outta that damn box. 

I still have a hand fisted in the back of Sam's jacket however, because like I've said twice now, I can't let go. 

I use my free hand to flip open the other latches. It's rather amazing how easily they come undone when the first two were so damn hard. The kids help me get that part of the lid back.

I look at Sam then, lick my lips and lean toward him, brushing my lips across his. Holy fuck, it feels so good to kiss him again. Even just that brief small bit. Pulling back I look into his eyes, green gazing into hazel and he grins slightly at me.

"Come on, Sammy, I got ya." I tell him as I help him stand to his feet, climb out of the coffin. 

I glance over at JD and shake my head at him, letting him know I know what he has done and that I am not happy with him. I mean, what he did has made my heart sing in one way, but damn it all, he just fucking sold his soul! [sighs and shakes head] 

I glance Sammy's way to see him walking over to his brother and now they are whispering to one another and I don't like it, but I'm not going to get into it with them now. Not here, not in front of Molly, not with Sam just coming back to me. Later, after we all get home, I'll sit down and talk to them, try to figure out a way to get my boy outta this mess.

I've got my arm around Sam as we head toward the Impala, and JD's running after us. "I can drive her back, Dad, if you and Dad Sam wanna ride with Molly." he says to me. 

Of course, I glare at him, and tell him, "Hell no! You weren't suppose to be in it to begin with JD!"

"But, Dad!" he whines at me.

"Johnathon Dean!! You are in so much trouble already, so you want to try for more!?" I yell at him.

I watch as he huffs and shakes his head, "No, sir."  
"Dad?" I hear Sammy say somewhat behind us, "Can I ride up front with you and Dad Sam?" he asks me.

I turn and look at him and shake my head, "Backseat, buddy. Sam will be there when we get home," I tell him, then look at Sam, green eyes gazing into hazel, "he isn't going to leave us." I tell Sammy, shaking my head, "Not ever again."

Molly. Damn. I had forgotten all about her driving back alone!

I turn my head and look over, see her walking slowly back toward her car, her hands folded before her. I can't see her face, so I'm not sure how she is, or what she could possibly be thinking right now. I mean, hell, it isn't everyday that the guy you were about to start a relationship with's brother/lover/life-partner (as Sam use to say they called what we were doing. Some damn fluffy chick-flick crap anyway) comes back to life and kinda puts a crimp in those plans because damn it, sorry, Molly, but Sam is definitely the one I am choosing between the two of you. Love ya, babe, but, sorry. (I mean, come on people, it's my _Sam_!)

"Molly!?" I call out to her, watch as she spins around to face me. 

She's smiling at me through her tears. "Go Dean," she tells me, as she shakes her head, glancing skyward before looking back at me, "The four of you have been given a gift! Go! Be happy!" she paused, sniffled, still shaking her head, "I am SO not going to get in the middle of that." She told me, then looked over at Sam, "That's a good man, you got there, Sam." she tells him, and I watch as Sam nods, then glances at me and quirks a brow. 

My head bows, as I look at the ground, I can only imagine what my Sam must be thinking. (Oh lord!)

I look back up at Molly, open my mouth to speak, to ask her if she wants to come over, to have JD ride with her, anything... but she's waving to us as she slides behind the wheel of her car. The door closes then and she starts the engine, backing up, she turns the car around and begins driving away.

I sigh and look over at Sam, "Well, apparently we sill have the ability to freak people out." I say trying to lighten the mood, as I walk Sam around to the passenger side of the car.

I see Sam look at me funny, then down at the arm I have wrapped around him, "I'm alright, Dean. I can get into a car by myself." he tells me and suddenly I feel like the worlds biggest idiot.

I drop my arm from around him and huff, walking away to the other side of the car, sliding in behind the wheel. I wait for the kids to get in and start the engine.  
Sam's inside now, but he's looking over his shoulder at Sammy and JD, smiling at them and he's got one leg hanging out of the door still. I throw the car in reverse and start backing up, causing his door to creak back on it's hinges and knock him in the leg. "Ow!" he yelps out, as he looks over at me, snatching his leg into the car and slamming the door closed.

I keep my eyes on focused on what I'm doing and shrug, "Thought you could get into a car by yourself, Francis?"

He huffs at me and stares out the front window. JD and his big mouth pipes up then, "Are you two fighting already?" he asks and both Sam and I snap at the same time, "No!"

I glance over at Sam and huff again, "What the hell is your problem?" I ask him, still not understanding what the hell I did wrong.

"Nothing, Dean." Sam grumbles out, before looking over his shoulder again at the kids and giving them, _them_ , one of those all dimples smiles of his. Like I don't deserve a smile like that too!? Bitch!

"You certainly come back from the dead in a pissy mood, Francis." I grumble out, as I reach for the radio dial and click it on, turning it as loud as I can stand it.

I see Sam glare at me, and reach out, turning the music back down, "Yeah? Do I? Gee, seems to me, you didn't come back from hell all warm and fuzzy either!" he spats at me. I huff because there is such a huge difference there it's laughable!

"Dude, what the hell is your problem!?" I finally ask him, only to have him clam up again and look out the side window, "Nothing." he mumbles, and I so know better.

But, I'm sick of arguing with him already so I simply sigh and glance at the kids in the rear view to see them whispering... again.

"Sammy," I say, looking over at my Sam, but little Sammy answers, 

"Yeah, Dad?"

I sigh again, as Sam looks from me to Sammy and back. "You renamed him Sammy!?" he asks me like I did something horrid... like call him Francis. [snickers]

I glance at Sam and shrug, "It is his middle name, and he wanted to be called Sammy," I tell him and pause, glance at Sammy before continuing, "Like you, his Dad."

Sam's head snaps over to glare at me so fast I'm shocked he didn't dislocate something. "Dean!" he yells at me, his voice all deep and sexy, and I can't help but smirk slightly as I shrug.   
"They know, Sam. Seems Sammy is more of a geek than you are."

Sam glares harder, "DEAN!" he yells even louder before looking at Sammy, "He didn't mean that, um... Sammy." Sam tells him.

"Sure he did, Sammy knows he's a dumb ass geek." JD pipes up, which gets me another glare. 

"You let him talk to Sammy like that!?" Sam asks me.

I shrug, "It's what they do... it's their ‘thing’." I explain, only to have Sam huff at me. 

"Do not call your brother a dumb ass geek!" he tells JD as he looks over at him, who I know, I don't even need to look, I know is giving Sam that, 'bite my ass' look.

But, I glance in the rear view and sure enough, he is.

"It's okay, Dad, JD is an idiot," Sammy tells Sam, nodding, "So, we're good."

Again, I am awarded with a glare from Sam. I roll my eyes and clear my throat, keeping my eyes on the road now, because apparently I can do nothing right anyway.

I pull into our drive way and Sam looks at me, "This is where you... I mean, we live?" he asks me. 

I turn my head and look at him, nodding. I raise an eyebrow at him then, "What's the matter, Sam? Not good enough for ya? Hmm... maybe if I make sure to make your room out of pine and bury it in the ground you'll feel more at home!" I spat at him, as I turn off the car and reach for my door handle.

"You're an ass, Dean. Fuck you!" Sam spats at me then. 

I turn quickly, just as he's reaching for his door handle and grab a hold of his jacket, jerk him back toward me. He turns his head, his face set in angry lines. The kids are already out of the car, so it's just us now, and they are at the door waiting for us. I'm all ready to yell at him, to tell him to stop being such an ass, but then I think about how he's finally here, after eight long horrible years, he's back with me. I think about how damn much I've missed him and I find myself crushing my lips to his, my tongue pressing between his lips to memorize every crevice, every contour of his mouth anew.

I moan softly into his mouth as I kiss him and I feel his hand go to my chest, begin to try to push me away, but I raise my free hand, grab his wrist and pull his hand away. After a few moments, he relaxes into the kiss, kisses me back, with just as much passion. I can hear his soft moaning and it's shooting straight to my dick. (Holy fuck!)

I pull back slightly, nipping his sinful bottom lip as I do. I pull back the rest of the way so I can look into those beautiful hazel eyes of his and he looks away, like he's all shy or something, which sort of surprises me, because lets face it, there isn't much left for us to be shy about together anymore.

Finally, he looks up at me, his voice is soft, deep as he speaks, "I don't want to come between you and Molly, Dean." 

My eyes widen slightly and I can't help but grin at him, God sometimes for being so smart, he can be so dumb. I shake my head as I chuckle softly, "There is no, me and Molly, Sam. There is no me and anyone... except you." I sigh and look away myself now, because well, Dean Winchester just hates to admit this but... "I haven't been with anyone since you, Sam."

I look back at him to see the shock in his eyes, on his face and I nod, "Amazing, I know." I chuckle, the shake my head, "I couldn't move on, couldn't get over the one person who stole my heart and took a piece of it with them when they left me." (yeah, okay, maybe I didn't say it that well at the time, but it's what I meant and he knew.)

Sam shakes his head at me, "I didn't _leave_ you, Dean. I died. Big difference."

I shrug then and do some lip licking of my own, "Well, it still nearly killed me and I still never got over you enough to... move on." I tell him softly. This time, I am awarded with another kiss, his tongue pressing between my lips. And damn if I can help but moan like a horny teenager. Good God, the boy can kiss. And then he's sucking my tongue like it's my cock and I about shoot my load in my pants right there. (FUCK!)

I pull way slowly and my breathing is all shades of fucked up, like I've been running a marathon as I look at him, "I -" I shake my head, "We need to go inside."

He smiles at me then and nods, reaching for his door handle. 

I hear his door open as I am reaching for my door handle, hoping like hell that the boys can't tell I am hard as hell under my jeans. Dammit, why did I wear such tight jeans?

I'm sliding from behind the wheel as I hear Sam's door close and then I'm out and closing my own. We're walking up to the door and JD turns and looks from me to Sam and back, and I am suddenly thinking that I need to put my hand over his mouth, something is just telling me to do it, but I don't... and then wish like hell I did as he says to Sam, "Dad, if you're upset about Molly, don't worry, Dad didn't bang her, in fact, I think I've only seen him kiss her once, and that was at Christmas, but there was no tongue involved." he glances at Sammy then and grins, before looking back at Sam, "Geek boy here made sure to find out for us. He was the look out."

Sam looks from JD to me and back, trying to hide the smirk I can see forming on his lips and I want to just have the ground swallow me alive at that moment. Damn brat! However, I sigh, and unlock the door, pretending that I've gone totally deaf and did not just hear my son tell Sam that. [shakes head] (Oh Lord...it's gonna be a long night.)

I open the door and in a moment of what I can only claim as intense and profound insanity, I ask JD, and I am being SARCASTIC here people, "Is there anything else of my personal life you would like to tell Dad Sam, seeings as you're in the mood to share my business with him?"

Of course, my son, being the smart ass he is, sees this as the opportunity to pretend he does not speak the language of sarcasm and look up at me with innocent eyes, then looks at Sam and begins the, what at least feels like, hour long marathon of telling Sam all about Dean. (oh holy hell, fuck fuck and double fuck!)

"Well, yeah, as a matter of fact." JD begins, as he looks up and up and up at Sam, "Dad Dean has been extremely sad since you died, Sammy and I were thinking that he might even need Prozac or Zoloft or Viagra or something."

I choke on my tongue at that point and Sam in pounding on my back so I can breathe as he listens to JD continue on. "He cried every day and night, sometimes he'd call out your name in the middle of the night. Once Sammy had a dream that Dad Dean killed himself over you. But, I told Sammy that even if that ever happened I'd always be here to take care of him. Dad Dean was really sad when you sent that birthday present too... I use to think you sent it from Heaven, but now I know it was just poor timing on the part of the post office. Dad Dean lost a lot of weight in the beginning, he use to puke a lot. He also had nightmares like every night in the beginning." 

I'm about to hyperventilate now, as I stand there, hands on knees as JD continues to rattle off and Sam's still fighting back that smirk, his hand rubbing small circles on my back.  
I am so going to kill that little brat!! When Sam isn't looking... I am going to choke the life out of JD. [nods] Definitely!

JD pauses for a brief moment and I see the look in his eye, the one that says, 'game on' and I know he's going to keep babbling until I either tell him he wins, I explode and Sam yells at me for it, or I just die here on the living room floor. Little fucker! Why did Sam ever let me procreate!? Goddammit!

JD looks back at Sam and with this shit eating grin on his face shrugs and says, "Personally, if Dad hasn't banged a hot babe like Molly, I think maybe he's impotent now, so..." he steps closer to Sam, slaps him on the back and says in a regretful voice, "You have fun with that Dad Sam. Sorry, man." then the little fucker, shakes his head sadly, stuffs his hands in his pockets and starts to walk off.

THAT'S the moment I see red!!!

I move quick, running after him out of no where, one minute I'm hyperventilating with my hands on my knees and the next I'm running after that little asshole, ready to strangle him. 

He's laughing and running, yelling to me, "Dad, your blood pressure!"

"I don't have high blood pressure!" I yell back.

"You might now!" he squeals as he keeps running through the house, dodging the TV, the couch, the rocker recliner, the coffee table, back out into the main room, up the stairs...

HE IS SO DEAD!!! 

He doesn't have to worry about hellhounds or crossroad demons, because I am going to rip him apart!!!!

************************

So, my Dad and I are standing there watching Dad Dean chase JD around the house and Dad Sam looks down at me and asks, "Is it always like this?" 

I nod to him and reply, "Yeah, pretty much."

Dad Sam nods with me and sighs. We both cross our arms over our chests and just watch the two of them running and yelling. Finally Dad Sam sighs and drops his hands to his sides, glances at me, "I guess I better break this up before JD gets hurt."

I scoff and ask him, "Do ya gotta, Dad?" He nods to me with a small smile then looks back toward the mess that is Dad Dean and JD running through the house still, screaming at one another. 

And then, Dad Dean catches him, grabs JD by the ankle and he's pulling him across the floor back to him. JD's trying to grab onto anything that he can screaming, "No, Dad! No! I didn't mean it! Sammy help! Dad Sam, save me!!!"

I watch as Dad walks over to them, and he looks pissed as he drops to one knee over Dad Dean and I'm thinking, 'uh-oh...'

**************************

I feel Sam walk over and kneel beside me, and I just have this feeling he's about to punch me for being mean to JD, but then he's tickling the shit out of me! 

I roll over and grab him, pull him down with me and we're wrestling on the floor tickling each other and he's telling me to leave JD alone, to pick on someone my own size.   
I can't help but smirk inside as I think about that. On the outside I'm laughing my ass off, for the first time in eight years, I am truly laughing, not a forced laugh, or a fake chuckle, but a real laugh as I wrestle with my brother/my lover/ my Sam on our living room floor and damn if it isn't the best thing in the world.

Suddenly our boys have joined us, they are pulling on me, trying to pin me, so that Sam has the upper hand. It's three against one, but I don't care. This is too good to care about the odds, or the fact that my kids are being traitors to the one who buys them their Lucky Charms and Metallica CD's. 

All I care about is the fact that were a family again. Whole and happy, forever and ever. That nothing is ever going to tear us apart again... 

And then it hits me like a slap in the face and my laughter dies and I suddenly, sit up, Sammy sliding off my chest as I do, to land in a heap on Sam. I grab JD, but the shoulders and look at him, my face has gone totally serious and I can feel Sam and Sammy looking at me like they have no clue what my problem is.

"How long did you get JD?" I ask him softly, but he only looks at me, his own smile falling away for a moment before he tries to ignore the question and go back to playing. 

I pull him farther from me, and shake him just slightly, "JD answer me! How long did you get!?" I ask again, this time my voice has raised a little, and I have a slightly panicked look to me.

I see Sam and Sammy out of the corner of my eye look at JD expectantly.

"I got six months." he tells me softly, head bowed, eyes downcast.

My eyes widen then and I am sure I gasped right along with Sam. Sammy however pipes up with, "You got shafted, dude!"

I glance over at him, glaring, before I look back at JD. "That was as good as you could get? You bargained with her, right? You tried to get longer? This was after negotiating with her, yes?!" I ask him, green eyes searching green.

"Dean..." I hear Sam say, and I'm nodding, "Oh, right, right," I agree with his unspoken statement as I know what Sam is thinking. "You shouldn't be making crossroad deals, JD! Not ever! They are dangerous and... and..." And I'm at a loss here seeings as I made one and would do it again to bring Sam back, was about to even. 

So, I look over at Sam who huffs at me and rolls his eyes, before looking at JD. "And they are stupid, JD. What's dead should stay dead." Sam tells him with a pointed look in my direction. I narrow my eyes at him, but say nothing more, as I look back at JD who is fumbling with the English language now like he's never spoken a word of it in his life. 

"I didn't negotiate with her, she said six months and I took it. I'm sorry." JD tells me, then glances at Sam, before looking back at me, "You needed Dad Sam back so much and Sammy wanted his Dad... I - I had to do it, no matter what the time frame was." he tells me and I am stuck between wanting to hug him or beat his ass.

But then, Sam seems to answer that for me as he reaches out and pulls JD out of my hands, hugging him to him. I watch JD to something he has never done with me, well, not since he was young anyway. He throws his arms around Sam's neck and buries his face in Sam's shoulder.

I look over at Sammy, to see his hazel eyes swell with tears as he watches and I pull him to me and hug him. Of course, Sammy, my girl (HA!) hugs me back without a second thought. 

Okay, well, aren't we the emo family!? One minute we're laughing and having a good time and the next we're all depressed and crying. [shakes head] I totally blame the girls of this group. (Sam and Sammy, of course.)

I look over at Sam and sigh, "You think you still got it in ya to make one more trip into hell to save our boy?" I ask him.

Sam licks his lips as JD pulls his head away, and he's wiping at his eyes. I don't see any tears, but I'm sure they were there, and he's just been clever, hiding them, and now wiping away the evidence. 

Sam starts to nod, as Sammy pulls his head up from my shoulder, wipes his eyes as he pulls back and he's shaking his head, "No!" he says with determination and Sam and I look at each other then back at him. "JD is not going to hell like you did. No one will need to go in and get him, because he simply isn't going."

I lick my lips, look from Sammy to Sam and back, "Sammy," I start slow, like he has a mental problem or something, "Sam and I never found a way to beat the deal, he has to go, but we can get him back..."

Sammy pushes away from me, standing to his feet. "No!! He isn't going! I won't let him!" Sammy yells at me, then looks over to JD, who is smirking slightly at his brother. I look from JD to Sam and back to Sammy who sighs and runs a had through his way too long hair. "Look, Dad, you didn't have me to get you out of you deal," he glances at Sam, "No offence, Dad." I watch Sam frown and shake his head, then look back at Sammy. 

"I can make sure he doesn't go. I know things, and..." Sammy looks me dead in the eye, "I can **do** things, that Dad Sam didn't, can't. JD isn't going to hell. Not now, not in six months, not ever." he tells us, sounding so sure of himself I almost am daring to believe him. "Just trust me." he says with a nod, and a glance at JD, who as I look over is nodding as well.

(Oh hell...something tells me this is only going to lead to more trouble, but, what the hell, right!? [sighs and shakes head])

After eating a simple dinner of delivery pizza, not exactly the meal I would have chosen for Sam's return from the dead, we watched a bit of TV together in the living room. Sam and I on the massive couch, JD in my recliner and Sammy on the floor in front of the TV.

If the kid keeps sitting so close to the damn TV, I'm going to be... no scratch that, habit, _we're_ going to be getting him glasses before he's a teenager. But, of course, such as it is with my...er...our children, you can't tell him anything, so I don't even bother trying.

After their show about dragons, (yeah tonight was the second half of the sucker), Sam and I tuck the boys into bed, something we haven't done together since the boys were little. 

I still check under the beds and in the closet, but JD is assuring me that the salt lines aren't broken and that he and Sammy actually put more down on the window sill they had climbed out of. I huff at him and check them myself anyway, before Sam and I walk out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the sequel to, **_I Want You To Live_** & **_I still Run._**  
>  AU Fic. Sam and Dean had what seemed like the perfect life, a normal life. Two sons, a house, each other and no more hunting. One fateful night that all got ripped away. Dean is trying to live life without Sam and raise two sons and move on, but he can't let go. And now, their sons know what he and Sam use to do for a living and they hash a plan to bring their Dad Sam back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roughly based on the video by Herebutnotremembered by the same name.

I'm about to go back downstairs, when Sam grabs my hand, pulls me toward my - er - our bedroom. 

I'm a little embarrassed as we go in, because well, it sort of looks like a small Sam shrine in there. I've got pictures of him on my dresser, one on my night stand, one of the four of us on the wall. Yeah, I'm a tad self-conscious now as he's looking around the room with that smirk on his face, the one he was trying to hide earlier. But, now it's there in full force, dimples and all as he looks at me. 

He's still got a hold of my hand, so sinking into the floorboards is not an option for me, as neither is walking out like I didn't just see him look at my shrine o' Sam.

He steps up to me then, one arm going around me, pulling me to him, and I'm instantly hard, which I am cursing myself for, because I just don't know if I should be right now or not. 

The hand holding mine, moves, slides up my arm and goose-flesh breaks out on me and again I feel like some stupid chick or something, but the way he's looking at me, the way he's moving, slow, but with a purpose, I just can't seen to help it. I'm pretty sure I'm staring into his eyes, because I don't remember blinking. 

He smiles slowly, and my gaze drops finally to his mouth. All sinful lips and straight white teeth and those Goddamn dimples that I just want to fucking lick all of the sudden...

"I guess you missed me, huh?" he asks me softly and all I can do is nod, as I swallow hard, because I think if I tried to talk right now, I wouldn't be able to. I'm sure sound would come out, but probably nothing coherent, nothing human ears could understand.

His smile falls as he looks down for a moment, then his eyes are looking into mine again, "I saw you," he tells me, "When I died. I saw you there, as you came running into my room." he shook his head, "I couldn't go until I saw you one more time."

Okay, now I'm having to swallow back the lump in my throat, because I know the moment he's talking about and to know that he was still there, in that room, waiting for me to come see him... I take a deep breath as my head hangs, "I was with the boys, I shouldn't have left, I -" 

He's shaking his head now, pressing himself closer to me, "I know where you were." he tells me, a second before his lips claim mine and I'm moaning into his mouth as I open it for him. He's got one hand on the back of my head now, and one is... on my back, slowly pulling my shirt up. 

I'm holding him in my arms like he might at any moment try to vanish on me. I know I'm probably holding on a bit too tightly, but at that moment, I can't bring myself to care, and he isn't complaining, so, I guess we're good. 

My hands run up his back to his head, both hands fisting in that mop of his as I kiss him harder, putting all eight years of built up passion into it and he's moaning now, his hips moving his pelvis against mine. Holy fuck I’m so hard, I think I'm about to bust through my jeans at any moment.

I tear my lips from his then, because I can't take it anymore, I have to have him, and I have to have him NOW!

I guess he can see it in my eyes, because he's nodding and lifting my shirt up, pulling it over my head. I'm glad that he took off the tie and suit coat earlier, because at this point I would have just tore them off of him... though the tie could have been fun. [coughs] But, I am tearing his dress shirt off. I'm not bothering with those damn tiny buttons, I just reach out and rip it open like he's my damn Christmas present and maybe he is, because this is the kind of joy I feel at having him back. Like there was some miracle, like the Universe finally decided to smile down on Dean Winchester and fuck me, it's the best!

Tiny buttons are raining down all over the floor and I'm shoving the shirt down his shoulders and off, pulling his undershirt up and over his head and tossing it onto the floor. I guess I picked up some of that OCD of his because I normally don't like clothes thrown all over the floor anymore, but right now I couldn't give a rats ass, as I gaze into hazel eyes I've only dreamt of for the past eight years.  
My lips find his again and my tongue is in his mouth as fast as our lips meet, and his is in mine and I think we're clanking teeth, but neither of us seem to care as our hands work at one another's pants, unfastening the buttons, then the zippers.

It's about that time that I wonder why the fuck they made pants so damn hard to get into and wonder briefly if I can talk Sam into wearing jogging pants for the rest of our lives. It's a fleeting thought, but hey, it did pop in there, at least I'm honest.

My hand slips into his pants, under his boxers to grip his cock in my hand.   
I moan into his mouth feeling the length and width of him, remembering what it felt like to have him inside me, to suck his dick until his eyes rolled back in his head.

Okay, I need to stop picturing that or this is going to be over before it begins.

His hand slips inside my jeans then, under my boxers to grip me and I'm moaning louder now. 

I can hear his moans as well as I start to move my hand on his cock. Then I feel his cock jump slightly in my hand and I have to grab his hand on my cock to stop him from moving before I make an ass out of myself.

I pull my head back, breaking our kiss and my breathing is ragged, but then I notice so is his. Thank God he's as excited as I am or I'd feel really stupid about now. 

My hand still gripping his cock, I take his wrist in my hand and pull him over to the bed and I slowly sink down, sitting on the edge with Sam standing before me.

I pull his pants and boxers down freeing his rock hard shaft and I had planned to remove his pants completely, but with the sight of him before me, I can't. Instead I dip my head, taking him into my mouth, moaning softly as I do.

I hear him moan louder than I am and I look up at him from under my lashes. His eyes are closed and his head is tipped back and that neck of his is exposed and I suddenly wish I had more than one mouth because I want to be there too.

Actually, I want to be all over him at once, but, point is, I can only be in one place at one time, dammit to hell! It's so unfair too. If you could see that neck, if you had ever tasted his skin, if you had ever... Okay, here I am giving him the worlds best blow job and I'm telling you about his fucking neck! [shakes head]

So, I'm sucking him, running my tongue around the head of his cock, then dipping my head down again, taking him deep into my mouth, as deep as I can, until he bottoms out in my throat. I'm moaning like a cheap whore as I do it, and my hand is pumping him, slightly faster than I was before, my grip a tad tighter.

He gasps, and I can feel his muscles tense, I've almost got him there, to the point of no return, where he's going to shoot his spunk down my throat and I'm going to lap it up like the dirty little cock sucker I am, but he takes a step back, running into the wall beside my, _our_ bed. I'm not letting go that easily, as I follow him, kneeling on the floor before him now. 

His hands are gripping anything they can, one is against the paneling, finger tips trying to get a grip on something, the other hand has a hold of the corner of the wall. His eyes are still closed and he's moaning and whimpering enough to make Tracy Lords jealous. He shakes his head and swallows hard before his lips part and he gasps softly. "Please, Dean...I can't...I'm gonna..." he groans long and loud then, his hips bucking upward and I have to be careful not to choke on his dick as it rams down my throat. 

One hand comes off the wall, the one that couldn't find anything to hold onto and he grabs his cock at the base as he opens his eyes and looks down at me shaking his head. "Not yet...I don't wanna..." 

But, I'm not listening, I'm having too much fun listening to the noises he's making and feeling the way his muscles are jumping and twitching as he tries to hold back. 

Oh yeah, this is beautiful, this right here, right now.

Then all at once his head bangs into the wall and he's yelling my name as his spunk is shooting into my mouth and I'm loving it, because you can't fucking dream this shit baby! No way, no how! This shit is real. I can taste him, slightly salty, a little like cream cheese. [smirks] 

I'm milking him for every last drop he can give me, and don't worry boys and girls this is far from over. I haven't even begun this night yet. Hope that eight year rest he took did him some good cause I plan to tear that shit up tonight!

His orgasm ends, but he's still moaning slightly, his head rolling against the wall.  
His muscles are still twitching slightly as I slowly pull my mouth away, his cock falling from my lips. He hasn't gone soft, not at all, so I'm thinking he isn't through with this night either, which I'm fucking thrilled with. I'd hate to have to break the news to him that he's about to be jumped on. [snickers]

I slowly pull to my feet before him, shoving my pants down as I do, and step out of them, then I'm toeing off my socks. (Yes, I am that talented.) My hands are against the wall, palms flat against the paneling. 

I dip my head and kiss his lips softly. Hazel eyes look into mine and he smiles slightly, "Love you." he tells me softly. 

At those words, my heart swells, I feel like the damn Grinch in that stupid Christmas cartoon when he heart grew two sizes. I smile softly back at him and nod, "You better." I whisper back to him, before leaning in to kiss his lips again. I hear is huff, as he tries to look down, but my kiss keeps his head up. 

As I pull back I'm smiling at him, "Love you too, Sammy." I whisper then. (Damn emo girl that he is.)

His hands come up against my chest then, pushing me back toward the bed. My hands come off the wall to hang at my sides as I step backward, letting him direct me to the bed. My calves his the edge of the bed and I slowly sink down, Sam starts to follow me onto the bed, but I stop him, pushing his dress pants down so he can step out of them finally.

Then he moves onto the bed so we're laying there, side by side, facing one another. I feel him, more than see, as I'm gazing into his eyes, pull his socks off and toss them across the room. I have no idea where they are landing and frankly, I don't care. I might find one on my dresser or hanging from the damn ceiling in the morning for all I know. But, it doesn't matter, all that matters is Sam. Sam being here, with me, now, forever.

I can't seem to keep my hands off of him as I'm running a hand down his side, cupping his face with the other. He turns his head slightly, kissing the palm of my hand that's cupping his cheek, trapped between his cheek and the pillow under him. He's got one hand on my cock, stroking me, the other is behind my head, his arm wrapped around my neck, trapped between me and the pillow I'm laying on.

I moan softly, my eyes closing for only a brief moment, before I open them again. I don't want to stop gazing at him, don't want to not know where he is every second. I guess a part of me is afraid I might open my eyes to find him gone again. That all this has been yet another cruel dream. I open my mouth to say something, but close it again, the words still trapped in my throat.

"What is it?" he asks me softy, his voice deep and sexy as hell. 

I smile slightly and shake my head. "No chick-flick moments, remember?" I ask him. 

He huffs then, "I think we've passed that, Dean." he tells me, his face is serious, concerned.

I sigh softly, knowing if I don't say it now, he's going to keep asking an the mood is totally going to be ruined. "I just..." I lick my lips and my gaze flickers away from his for a second, and his hand on my cock stills. Yep, I knew it, he's worried.

Dammit. 

I look back at him then, "I just don't want to wake up and find out this was all just another dream." I whisper.

He smiles softly at me then, and I guess maybe this chick-flick shit isn't so bad as I am awarded with him moving, rolling me onto my back, as he lays half on me, gazing down at me, love in his eyes before his lips crush against mine in a passionate kiss. 

His hand on my cock has sped up now and I'm aching for release, moaning into his mouth. Oh holy fuck...

His lips leave mine as he trails kisses down my jaw to my neck, kissing me there, his hand working me faster and I'm still moaning like a porn star, my eyes are closed now, as I cling to him, my arms wrapped around him, hands running over his muscular back. He bites my neck then, bites it hard, his teeth sinking in slightly before he starts to suckle softly on my neck. 

At the same time his hand is doing amazing things to my cock. I have no idea how, but, it feels like he's got two hands down there, though I can see his other hand braced on the bed next to me. My neck arches as he's biting, sucking my neck and I can feel my orgasm, right there, right fucking there. And I know he knows it, because the fucking tease that he is, pauses in his movements, ghosts his thumb over my slit then pumps me hard and fast and I'm coming hard, my head lifting from the pillows as I gasp and groan and say his name over and over and over again, making it sound like a chanted prayer to some sex god. He licks the bite on my neck then, and the things that boy can do with his tongue... makes me wonder about him sometimes. (Holy fucking A!)

He's dancing it across my neck, across the bite, the tip wiggling, before he licks at it like a cat drinking cream. And immediately I think about him doing that to my cock and it only makes my orgasm better. (Damn!)

As I finish coming, he pulls his head back and smiles softly at me, before pulling his hand away from my cock. He brings his hand up to his mouth then and with his eyes on mine, begins to slowly lick my cum from his hand. (If I hadn't already came, the sight of that sure would have done it alone! Holy hell that's hot! Who knew my shy little brother could be such a damn prick tease!?)

And yeah, I might have just come, but no, I am not done here. I still haven't gotten a chance to be inside him yet, and fuck if I am going to let that chance go by another day. Nope, not happening.

I watch him finish licking his hand clean, a smirk pulling at his lips as I groan softly.

He looks at me then and speaks the very thing I've been thinking. "We aren't done yet." he tells me softly. 

I smile at him and shake my head. "Not on your life, not even close." is my reply, which apparently was the right thing to say as he's kissing me again. 

I'm nipping at his bottom lip, trailing my tongue over every part and piece of his mouth I can reach, as if I am about to swallow him whole, and fuck me if I couldn't right about now. 

I roll us then, so that he's on his back and I'm now the one laying half on him. It's then that I pull my head back, breaking our kiss. I'm gazing down at him and shaking my head slightly as my eyes drink in the sight of him, "So beautiful, Sammy. Always been so damn beautiful." And I mean that, I've always thought he was, from the day Mom and Dad brought him home from the hospital and from the day I carried him out of our burning house, I've thought of him as mine... just not in the same way I do now.

He smiles up at me, raising his head up off the pillow to kiss my lips once again. Though I love to kiss him, love the taste of him, there's so much I want to say, want him to know, things I never got to say before he died, things I wished like hell I would have before...

But, as I look into his eyes as he pulls his head back and lets it fall back on the pillows, I think he knows without my even having to try to put it all into words. Not that I would know exactly how anyway.

I shake my head slightly, "Sammy, I..." 

Before I have a chance to try to fumble with words he nods at me, "I know." he tells me, rescuing me from having to try to say anything. 

Instead then, I lower my head and crush my lips to his, my tongue darting inside his mouth, tasting him again. He's running the tip of his tongue over the roof of my mouth and it tickles and yet feels so damn good that I can feel my dick twitch where it's trapped between us. 

I reach over with one hand, toward the night stand, about to open the drawer and grab the lube, when his hand circles my wrist, pulling my hand away from the drawer. I pull my head back, breaking the kiss and look down at him, because there can only be two reasons why he's puling my hand away. 

One reason would about kill me right now, but I seriously don't think that's it, and the other reason, if he says it, might just make me come on him right the fuck now.

Hazel eyes gaze lovingly up at me for a moment before he licks those sinful lips of his and damn if it doesn't make me want to copy his motions and lick his lips until I run out of spit. His eyes leave mine for a brief second as he looks down, then back up at me and that's when he says it and yep, I was right, I almost lose it right there. "No, Dean, no lube. I want to feel you. Feel everything." he tells me as he is shaking his head slightly. (Okay, let me just tell you, when Sam Winchester tells you he wants you to fuck him with no lube and you are having to fight to hold back molesting the fuck out of him as it is....well, let's just say I was about to pop or rip him apart...or both.)

I swallow hard, and nod, because I can't manage to do much else right now as I think about that. And then, the big brother in me kicks in (damn it all) and I think about how this is probably going to hurt like fuck, what he is asking of me. I mean, Dean the sex pervert, the guy who just wants to slam into him and not stop until we're both in need of serious medical attention is all for it... but the protector in me, the part that always makes sure above all else that Sammy is safe, is screaming in my head that I can't do this. (Ah, fuck me!)

"Sam.." I begin, my voice sounding leery about it now, but he shakes his head. 

"I'll be fine, Dean. I want this." he tells me softly.

Well, I _have_ always given Sam everything he's wanted... when it was in my power to do so, anyway. So, I nod, sighing softly.

Okay, if I am doing this, I m going to make him as ready as I can before hand.

I lower my head, kissing along his neck, then bite him there, listen to the deep moan I am awarded with and I can't help but smile against his skin as I continue placing kisses and nibbles along his neck, his collarbone, working my way down his body. Over his muscular chest. I run my tongue around one dark nipple, then bite down gently, before moving to the other to do the same. After that, I work my way down his washboard abs to his cock, and run my tongue up the underside, root to tip. I hear him gasp softly, and moan, glancing up, I see his eyes are closed as his head rolls to one side.

My hands slide under his ass, lifting his hips slightly off the bed as I reposition myself so that I can reach him better, then I run my tongue around the puckered skin of his tight hole. I press my tongue against it then, gaining only a small amount of access, as his muscles clench and I hear him gasp. 

"Relax, baby." I whisper, before trying again, the tip of my tongue pushes in harder, farther, and then I'm fucking his hole with my tongue. Pressing in further each time, running my tongue around the rim, and lapping at him like he's a fucking bowl of cream. He's moaning and gasping and mewing for me, his hands gripping the sheets and it's the hottest damn thing ever.

Slowly, I slip one finger inside him, but he doesn't even seem to notice. My tongue is still licking at him, still thrusting into him, along with my finger. After a few moments of that I add another finger and he's thrashing now, mewing, whimpering and thrashing his head. I feel it more than see it as I am still busy down there licking him and tongue fucking him along with those two fingers. 

Slowly, I pull my head up as I add a third finger, and his eyes open wide as he looks up at me, his breathing is heavy, his face flushed and he looks so goddamn beautiful...

"Please, Dean..." he pants out, and those words go straight to my cock making it jump. He must have seen it, as his hazel eyes drop to focus on my hard dick for a second, before he looks back up at me and nods. "Fuck me."

_You don't have to tell me that twice, baby boy._

I pull my fingers out of him and lean up, over him, place a soft kiss on his lips and tell him softly to roll over.

I pull back and out of his way, wait for him to roll as I asked, then I run a hand over his ass cheek, "Ass in the air, baby boy." I tell him softly.

He positions himself that way, face against the pillows, on his knees, ass high in the air and oh my God if it isn't the most beautiful sight in the world.

I run a hand over the small of his back, as I position myself on my knees behind him.   
"Ready, baby?" I ask him softly. 

I watch as he nods and hear him say softly, "God yes."

Gripping his hips, I slowly begin to ease my way into him, the crown of my cock enters him and I watch his head lift from the pillow, turn and lay back down facing the opposite direction, a moan escaping him as he does, see those straight white teeth of his bite into his bottom lip. 

I continue to ease my way into him, holding onto his hips and he's trying to grind back into me, but I won't let him, don't want to hurt him.

The feel of his tightness surrounding me, so, hot, so tight, and his pushing back on me, it's getting hard as hell for me not to just ram myself into him, I have to fight the urge with everything in me. I'm moaning, groaning, and my breathing is heavier now. I shake my head at him. "Please, Sammy. Hold still." I tell him.

But, either he is too lost in the feelings himself or he is choosing to ignore me, as he keeps moving his hips, keeps trying to press back, gain more of me into him than I think he's ready for yet. 

And then, all on their own, like a reflex, my hips flick forward and before I realize what I'm doing, I'm balls deep inside him. I hear him groan, and look down at him to see that he's grabbed a pillow and bitten into it. His eyes are squeezed shut tight and he's blowing out breaths in bursts of air against the pillow.

Fuck! I've hurt him! Panic seizes me and I hold as still as I possibly can, even though all I want to do is to keep moving inside him.

"Sammy?" I say his name softly, worriedly, but he doesn't answer me, doesn't move.  
Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!

I lean over him slightly, which only seems to serve in changing the angle of my cock inside him, making me moan and I see him grip the pillow harder.

"Sammy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." I stop talking as I run a hand over his shoulders, trying to look at his face. "Sammy, look at me please."

Slowly, he let's go of the pillow with his teeth, turns his head to look at me over his shoulder and the sight makes me gasp softly. His face is flushed, pupils lust blown.  
He looks at me and moans out, "Move, Dean."

Move. Not stop. Not hurts. Not get off me. Move. (Thank God!)

I nod to him, placing a quick, sloppy kiss half on his lips, before I pull back onto my knees, gripping his hips again, and slowly begin to move in him.

One of my hands reaches around him, digits encircling his cock as I start to pump it in time with my thrusts. He moans long and arches his back, pushing back against me, making me take him deeper, harder. 

"Sammy..."

"More..." he moans out and I come close to losing it with that one word from his lips. No need to say that twice. I begin to move, my thrusts coming harder, faster inside him, my hand on his cock moving just as fast, my grip tight.

He's mewing and moaning, his breathing ragged, sheets balled in his fists, his knuckles white with the force.

Oh god... So damn beautiful, so fucking hot.

I reach out with the hand that was on his hip, palm against his chest and pull him back, so that he's sitting up, on his knees, half on my lap as I thrust into him.  
One of his hands joins mine on his cock as I pump him, the other, he reaches back with, holding me to him as best he can.

His head rolls back onto my shoulder and he's moaning, just like I am. I feel his muscles tighten, know he's close to coming. I lower my head to whisper in his ear. "Not yet, baby. Hold onto it for me. Not yet, baby boy."

I hear him whimper, but he nods, lifting his head from my shoulder. His head bows, before he tilts it back again and he's biting his bottom lip. It's so damn hot too, he fucking knows I think so. 

I thrust into him a few more times and I can feel my own orgasm close. I try to hold onto it, make this last as long as I can, but then I hear him whimper again and moan out, "Please...Dean....ohgod!"

I nod to him, "Yes, baby boy, yes, ohfuck...yes!" I tell him.

I am so glad that our boys can sleep through a fucking tornado, because in the next second we're both screaming one another's names as we come hard and fast.

I'm filling his ass with my spunk and I can feel him shooting, all over our joined hands on his cock.

My head falls forward, my forehead on his shoulder as I try to get control of my breathing. His hand moves from my back, where he has wrapped his arm backward, to hold us together. He wraps his arm around my neck backward instead, and places a kiss on the side of my head. His breathing as ragged and hard as my own. With a gasp of air, he tells me, "Love you, babe."

Slowly, I turn my head to look at him and smile. He has no idea how much I love him, how much power he has over me. He could break me with his denial of love so easily. Thankfully, Sam has always been the feeling one, or at least the one to show it. He takes great care of my heart that I have given him and I think that only serves to make me love him even more. "Love you too, baby boy." I tell him breathlessly. 

 

There aren't many people in this world Dean Winchester has ever said, 'I love you' to. 

I felt it for Cassie once, long ago, but I never told her. Maybe there was more of a reason there for my not telling her than I had thought at the time. [shrugs] I've told my Mom and Dad that I love them, when I was younger, and I've told my boys, both of them that, often. I use to tell Sam that when he was young. I stopped when he could understand what it meant, I still felt it, always have, but I stopped saying it, until that one morning, after the first time we were together.

In some shit-hole motel in Indiana, the morning after we had first had sex, after yet another wonderful round of it, I happen to mention it in the midst of calling Sam a tease. He, of course, called me on it, so I, of course, denied it. 

Then, in Florida, he told me to say it to him. We were right in the middle of fucking (or making love, as Sam makes me call it.) [rolls eyes and grins] and he looks at me and tells me to say it. 

I know right away what he wants me to say, but it gets stuck somewhere on my tongue for a few moments as I look at him, like a deer caught in headlights. Then, I say it and when he smiles at me, all dimples and looking hotter than hell, and says it back, it was worth me sticking my neck out there and saying it. It's not something I like to do. But, yeah, this time, it was awesome. [nods and grins.] (yeah, okay, so I am turning into major girl here, so sue me. I totally blame Sam.) And after that, well, it's been great ever since to say it to Sam. 

My hand slowly lets go of his cock, as does his at the same moment. Our hands are wet and sticky with his spunk, but neither of us seem to care much. 

I can feel his weight on my arm, the one across his chest, and I realize then that I'm pretty much holding him up right now. So, I ease us down onto the bed, my cock slips from his ass in the process and I feel the loss of him. I hear his groan as I slip out of him, and I think maybe he's feeling the same way.

We're both careful not to get anything on the sheets. Maybe it's our combined OCD. [chuckles and shakes head] 

He turns so he's on his side as I ease us down, then he rolls onto his back.

I reach onto the floor and find my shirt (believe it or not) and use it to clean us up before tossing it back onto the floor.

I'm laying there next to him, half on my side, half on my stomach, one leg thrown over his, and my arm over his chest, just looking at him.

His eyes are closed and his lips are slightly parted, one arm is thrown up over head, the other, he's got a hand on me. On my ass to be exact, and I'm just so damn glad he's back, he's home. I fall asleep like that, with him being the last thing I see, his image ingrained into my eyes, my memory.

***************************

My eyes slowly flutter open and I'm staring at the ceiling for a second before everything that has happened comes back to me in a rush.

I can feel his arm still thrown over my chest, before I even look down, I know it's there, just as it should be, just as it always use to be. He's shifted slightly in the night, so his leg is no longer thrown over mine. Or maybe I shifted, either way. [shrugs] I slowly turn my head and look over at him. Look at his eyes closed now in sleep, though I know what color they are by heart. My gaze travels down slightly to his nose and that little splattering of freckles there. It makes me smile softly, his freckles. I look further to his full, suck me, lick me, kiss me, lips. They are just slightly parted as he sleeps, and I can't help thinking how cute my brother is when he sleeps. That thought alone makes me have to hold back a chuckle, because if my big brother knew that I thought he was cute when he slept, he'd probably kick my ass.

I lift my head slightly off the pillow to try to look past him at the alarm clock to see what time it is. 6:30 am. I smirk at myself then, as apparently some things never change. My head falls back to the pillow, before I look down at his arm thrown over me. I lift a hand and run it along his arm as I slide carefully out from under it.

Being as careful as I can not to wake him, I pull from the bed and make my way to the bathroom. Once inside I sleepily look around as I begin my morning ritual.

Of course, I have no toothbrush, so I'm going to have to use Dean's... hopefully he doesn't freak about that. Same with deodorant... unless he wants me to smell like a locker room.

With a sigh, I turn to the shower after going to the bathroom, and _no_ , I am not going to be disgusting and say 'piss' like my brother! [sighs and shakes head]

So, I'm showered, shaved, hair combed, teeth brushed and now I'd like to get dressed, only I have no clothes. There's nothing there anymore that's mine and while I could technically wear Dean's pants, I would look like I was waiting for Noah and the flood. [sighs] 

So, I am reduced to a bathrobe or the clothes I was buried in. [shudders] Somehow, the terrycloth olive green bathrobe seems to be my better bet. Sadly, I don't even have a clean pair of boxers to call my own to wear. (Yeah, I am in desperate need to go shopping apparently.) I throw on the robe and I'm heading down the stairs and toward the kitchen. Coffee pot is calling my name. [nods]

I hear little voices as I round the stairs, coming from the kitchen. I walk in to find JD pouring Sammy a bowl of Lucky Charms and I have to smile as they remind me so much of me and Dean at that age. “Morning.” I tell them as I enter and they both look at me like I'm an idiot for a few seconds, then Sammy smiles and says “Morning.” back to me, but JD only huffs and me and nods, so much like Dean it's pathetic. I shake my head and head for the coffee maker.

Opening the cabinet above my head, I glance at Sammy and JD out of the corner of my eye, notice that Sammy is all ready for school, but JD is still in his pajamas and quirk a brow at him as I close the cabinet, pulling down the coffee and filters.

"Don't you need to get ready for school too, JD?" I ask him, but he shrugs at me and shakes his head. "I only got six months left, ain't wastin' 'em at school." he tells me. 

I look from him to Sammy, who is shaking his head at him. "I told you I'd fix it, bro." Sammy tells him and JD glares at him, "And what if you can't?"

I sigh and turn to them both, "Look, we are going to work this out, JD, you are not going to hell. I lost Dean once that way," I tell him shaking my head, "I'm not going to lose you too."   
JD looks at me and huffs, "I ain't waitin' four months in hell for you, Dad. That's bullshit!"

Sammy stand up from his stool then, "Don't talk to Dad like that! I told you! I've got it, JD! Just trust me for once, would ya!?" he yells at him.

JD is still glaring, "How the hell you gonna do that, geek boy!? Huh!? Wave a Goddamn magic wand!?" he yells back.

I sigh and walk around the counter, standing between them, "Both of you, stop it now!" I tell them, but they just keep yelling at one another around me, like I'm not even there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the sequel to, **_I Want You To Live_** & **_I still Run._**  
>  AU Fic. Sam and Dean had what seemed like the perfect life, a normal life. Two sons, a house, each other and no more hunting. One fateful night that all got ripped away. Dean is trying to live life without Sam and raise two sons and move on, but he can't let go. And now, their sons know what he and Sam use to do for a living and they hash a plan to bring their Dad Sam back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roughly based on the video by Herebutnotremembered by the same name.

I'm awoken by the sounds of Sammy and JD arguing downstairs. Gee, what a lovely way to wake up. [sighs and shakes head] 

I smile slow as memories from the night before start to filter to my sleep clouded brain. Slowly, I run a hand over to where Sam.... Okay, that's weird. No, Sam. The spot he should be in isn't even still warm. What the-? I pull up quickly, sitting in the bed, green orbs darting about the room for some sign, some something to prove to me that Sam really was there, that I hadn't just had another Goddamn wet dream again.

There's nothing! I can find nothing! Nothing out of place, not one of his socks are hanging from the ceiling as I thought I might find them after last night, not on my dresser, nothing. Hell, there isn't even clothes on the floor! 

Okay, I'm starting to panic here a little, as I pull from the bed, my eyes still scanning the room, trying to make sense of all this. I make my way into the bathroom, which I wouldn't do, I'd just run down the stairs yelling for Sam, IF I didn't have to piss so bad I felt like my back teeth were floating.

"Sam!" I call out as I'm walking. I figure if he's around he'll hear me, if I did have another damn dream, well, the boys are almost use to me yelling out Sam's name for no apparent reason, so either way, I'm covered.

I'm standing in the bathroom, trying to piss enough to be able to run down the stairs, and that's when I notice that the shower stall is still wet.

_Wet shower stall? The boys never use my shower._

I turn my head toward the sink and find the tooth paste, sitting perfectly straight, right beside the sink on the left hand side, my razor on the right, it's match. My shaving cream in a direct line above my razor and my toothbrush, when I glance up at it, is facing west, because Sam says facing a toothbrush east is just odd.

I grin wide now, because I know, without a shadow of a doubt, Sam has been in here. I may have picked up a few of his OCD tendencies, but good lord, I'm not that bad! Holy hell! Only Sam would be so anal about the placement of things.

I'm nearly giddy (Yeah, I said giddy. Bite me.) with the knowledge that he really is here, that it wasn't a dream and that in just a few moments, I'm going to see him again. (Thank God! I don't think I could have mentally survived knowing I'd just had ANOTHER wet dream.)

I finish peeing, flush, and turn to the sink, quickly brush my teeth. (yeah, I know Sam used my toothbrush. [shrugs] Not like I really care. Besides, he didn't have one of his own, and well, it isn't like I haven't had my mouth on parts of him that well... [grins] yeah...)

So, anyway, I brush my teeth then I'm outta there, don't even take time to shower and shave this morning. I know Sam's there, but I NEED to see him with my eyes, ya know?  
So, I'm outta the room and going down the stairs, I can still hear Sammy and JD bickering about something... I'm not really paying attention. At least not until I hear Sam's voice. Sam, Sam, Sam, my Sammy. (yeah, I'm grinning like an idiot, so what!? Bite me! Fuckin' assholes!)

I hear Sam say, "Look, JD, you are going to school, we'll work this all out. You're not going to hell and you need your education."

Yeah, I am mentally rolling my eyes at him, but he has a point too.

I walk around the stairs and head into the kitchen, just in time to see and hear my oldest make a complete ass of himself. He glares up at Sam, narrows his eyes and says to him, his voice low (probably figuring I won't hear his ass that way), "Look, Sam, I am not going to school. You can't just waltz in here after eight years and expect me to listen to you! You aren't even my father, Dean is. You're Sammy's father. You want someone to boss around, boss around the dumb ass. Not me."

That's about the time I see maroon. Forget red, pissed has left the building. I am ready to murder that little piece of shit brat!

I come around the corner so fast, I don't think they even realized I was there.

I see the hurt look on Sam's face, he isn't saying anything back to JD, he's just standing there, staring at him. And that only serves to piss me off more.

I march into the kitchen and I'm grabbing JD around the throat, slamming him against the wall, before the three of them can even register that I'm up and in the room. 

JD's feet are dangling, as I've picked him up off the floor and he's trying to glare at me, but not doing a very good job, I can see the fear in his eyes as I glare at him. "Don't You EVER fucking talk to him like that again! Do you understand me, Jonathan Dean Winchester!?" I yell at him, my face inches from his. "Sam is just as much your father as I am, Goddammit!"

"No..." JD gasps, his hands clawing at mine, "no, he isn't." he tells me, "Sammy's father. Not....mine."

(Now, I have to ask....are you people SURE it's illegal to kill your offspring? I mean, I made him, can't I kill him?...please?)

I tighten my grip on his throat and shove him harder against the wall. "Goddammit, JD!" I growl at him, but then, Sam's there, and he's pulling at the arm, I'm holding JD up with, telling me to let him go.

I look over at Sam and he's shaking his head at me, "Dean, don't hurt him. Let him go. If that's how he feels, it's how he feels."

I huff and unceremoniously drop JD, turning to Sam, my eyes narrowing on him now. "You realize this is all your fault, right!?"

I watch as Sam's eyes widen slightly, "My fault?" he asks me.

I nod to him then, "Yeah, YOU let me reproduce!" I yell at him, then point to JD, who is glaring daggers at me from the corner of the room. "See what I make!"

I look over toward Sammy then, pointing at him, "Sammy doesn't act like that!"

It's then that Sammy decides to jump off his stool and brush past me and Sam and go to JD, asking JD is he's alright, then looks back at us and glares. "You're both jerks!" he spats at us then, before JD wraps an arms around Sammy's shoulders.  
I huff at that, because, well damn, what the hell did we do to Sammy!?! Fuckin' little brats sticking together against us! I think we ought to dunk them in Holy Water! They have to be possessed... or ...something!

"Come on, Sammy," I hear JD say, "Let's go to school. At least we can get away from them that way." he tells him all pissy like, as if I started this fight and not him.

Sam's giving the two of them that sympathetic puppy look and I could just smack him for it. We can hear the boys running up the stairs, I can only assume so JD can get dressed. I turn and narrow my eyes at Sam, just looking at him for a long moment, thinking about what my boy said, thinking about Sammy...just thinking.

Then, before I know what I'm doing, I nod, bringing Sam's attention to me and I see him raise an eyebrow at me. "He's right actually." I say finally, my voice low.

Sam's eyes widen slightly, "What?" he asks me.

"JD, he's right. You leave us and then you walk in here and expect everything to just be forgiven. Like we are suppose to forget that we suffered for eight years without you."

Sam frowns at me, licks his lips. "Dean," he shakes his head, "I didn't leave you. I died." he says to me, like that makes everything better.

My eyes narrow on him, "And why did you die, Sam? Hmm? Was it a horrible disease?" I pretend to think about that, "Nope." I tell him, "Was it that you were murdered in cold blood?" Again, I pretend to think about that, "Again, no!" my voice it getting louder now. I hear the boys run down the stairs and out the front door then, but I don't even say goodbye. I'm too into what I'm doing, venting this anger, this resentment that I've held in for eight long Goddamn years.

I take a step toward Sam and he has the grace to stake one back away from me. Apparently, he's smarter than he looks. "You died because you went back for a Goddamn toy, Sam!" I tell him through gritted teeth, "How fucking dumb is that!?" I ask him. 

I watch as his mouth opens like he's about to say something, then he closes it, licks those fucking lips of his, then opens it again. "Dean, JD wanted his toy, I -" 

I cut him off right there as I am so sick to death of this story, I've played it over and over again in my head to damn many times in the last eight years, I sure as hell don't need him to tell it to me again. "So, you decided to go get it for him," I nod, "Yeah, Sam, I know. And in doing so, you FUCKING LEFT US!!!" I am screaming now, and I don't give a shit. I've had this bottled up inside me for eight years, it's about time he hears what a fucking mess he made of our lives.

"Dean, I tried to do something for my son," he shook his head, "How did I know it was going to end up that way!? I didn't! I wanted to get him his toy. It was his favorite, I just..."

I'm glaring daggers at him now, and take another step toward him, he takes two backward. "Yeah, well, he never did get that damn toy, Sam. Not only that, but he lost you. Sammy lost you. I fucking lost you!" I watch as his mouth moves but nothing comes out, and I take another three steps toward him, and he takes one more back, before I grab hold of the front of the robe he's wearing so he can't back away anymore. 

"You know Sam, for being so smart, you can really be fucking stupid sometimes!" I snap at him, watch as his hazel eyes narrow on me. I've pissed him off now. Good. Hope he's fucking livid, I know I sure as hell am!

I grab the front of the robe in my other hand now too, so I have two fist fills of terry cloth now and I'm glaring so hard my eyes hurt. "You fucking made me love you, made me admit it, made me open up, and then you fucking leave me, Sam." I shake my head at him, look away as I feel tears burning my eyes. Why the fuck I have tears in my eyes I have no fucking idea, but I can feel them there, and I sure as hell don't want him to see them.

"Dean, I'm sorry, I didn't think -"

Again, I cut him off, "Yeah, I know, Sam. You didn't think. Didn't think at all!" I let go of the bathrobe with one hand, reach up and smack the side of his head, before grabbing the robe again. 

He glares harder at me now, his hands coming up, digits wrapping around my wrists. "Let go of me, Dean." he tells me.

My eyes slowly move from his face, down to where is fingers are wrapped around my wrists, lick my lips and shake my head. "No, Sam," I tell him, my voice soft now, before I look up at him. "Never gonna let you go."

Then before he can say anything to that, to move him and myself, I turn us so that we're behind the counter, over next to the coffee pot, I have Sam pinned against the counter with the weight of my body as I let go of the robe with one hand, reach up and wrap a hand around the back of his neck, pulling his head down slightly as I crush my lips to his hard, bruising. There's nothing gentle or loving about it. Just angry. Angry and hot. Damn hot as he's trying to pull away, because I'm biting his bottom lip now, hard, harder than I ever have. So hard I think I can taste his blood in my mouth.

I pull back slightly, like I'm gonna let him go, tearing my lips from his. I can see the crimson stain on his bottom lip now and I don't feel bad about it at all. (Sorry folks, but I don't.) With him not expecting it, I manage to spin him around, pinning him against the cabinet again, my feet planted, shoulders width apart, so I've got a good stance against any struggling he might do as I bend him over the counter top. "Dean, what the hell!?" he grounds out, though his teeth.

"Shut up, Sam!" I snap at him, as I move a hand down under the robe, feeling his bare ass. I chuckle softly, rubbing my hand over his ass. "I like the outfit, Sammy."

"Fuck you, Dean!" he snaps at me. 

I only chuckle and shake my head, "No, Sammy, I'm going to fuck you, bro." I tell him just before slapping his ass hard.

He jumps slightly, and looks back at me, glaring. "Like hell you are!" he tells me, but I'm not worried about it. He'll change his mind soon enough. Soon I'll have him begging. I know how he works. I lean over him, my lips kissing along his neck, nipping hard. "I've missed you so fucking much, Sam. We all have." I tell him, then shake my head, "You don't know what it's like Sam, to live without the one you love." 

He looks back at me, glaring, "You fucking died and went to hell Dean! I know exactly what it's like!" I reach up, grab a handful of that mop of his, still slightly damp from his shower and pull his head back, crushing my lips to his. The angle is funny, and we're kind of half missing each others lips, but the intent is there and my tongue is in his mouth, searching, seeking, tasting him. 

God, he tastes so good. Fuck me. 

My cock is rock hard already and as I move my hand from his ass, reach around and wrap my fingers around his dick, I find he's hard too. [chuckles] Oh, I just bet he hated that I found his little secret.

Sammy likes it rough. [laughs harder] 

I pull my lips from his, chuckle softly, as my hand pumps his cock hard. "Mmm, my Sammy boy likes it rough." I tell him, just to rub in the fact that I noticed. 

He bucks back against me. Not to excite me, but in an attempt to throw me off him. He's pissed and I know it, but for the life of me, I can't seem to really care. It just makes me laugh harder, makes my dick swell more. Makes me want to hear him screaming at me as I plow into him as hard as I can. (Yeah, I'm a perverted, sick, twisted bastard. [shrugs] I know it.)

My hand leaves his cock, and I lift it to his mouth, jam two fingers inside before he knows what I'm doing, then pull them out of his mouth. "Hope that was enough lube for ya, baby." I tell him as I lower my hand to his ass again. I can feel him tense as I insert a finger into his ass.

"Dean, stop it, dammit!" he tells me, still sounding pissed, but I ignore him and start moving my finger in his ass as I bring my other hand around to grab his cock, pump him hard and fast. I hear him groan as he turns his head away. Yeah, he's liking it, though he doesn't want me to know. [chuckles] Maybe Sammy's a bit of a pervert himself after all.

A second finger joins the first I have inside him and now he's bucking back against me, moaning softly. [grins] See, I knew he'd change his mind. And yeah, I'll play dumb for him, like I didn't know it. [chuckles and rolls eyes]

His breath hisses out between his teeth as his head tilts back and I can see he's biting that bottom lip of his. God, I love when he does that.

I pull my fingers out of his ass, and push my dick into his tight hole. I do it as rough as I can without hurting him, grabbing a handful of hair as I push in, pulling his neck, that sinful, beautiful fucking neck taunt. I see his throat work as he swallows and I'm slamming my hips into his ass hard. His lips part and he's panting out his breaths, before he licks those lips and that's it, I have to taste them myself again.

I lean forward again and force him to turn his head as far toward me as he can.  
My lips crush against his, my tongue darts out to taste him and I moan into his mouth. 

_Oh god, he's so fucking hot…_

I wrap my free arm around his hips, as I am still holding onto his hair with my other hand, my free hand on his cock, pumps him hard as I increase my thrusts into him. Pounding harder, faster, until his hips are slamming into the cabinets below us, my hand trapped between him and the cabinets is taking most of the beating there.

But, his ass, yeah, I'm tearing that up. Not really hurting him, but pushing him, further than I ever have before. 

I can hear him grunting and panting, even though he's slamming his ass back into my thrusts. It's turning me on even more, knowing he's liking it, rough as it is. I was always super gentle with him before, like I thought he might break or something, but not now. Today, I'm getting out that anger, that frustration of being left without him, and I'm taking it out on him, even though I know in the back of my mind that it really isn't his fault. 

"Missed you so Goddamn much, Sam." I groan out between clenched teeth as I pull my mouth away from his.

He gasps, moaning loud and long, before sucking in a breath between his teeth, "God, Dean...." he shakes his head slightly, "So, sorry, I'm sorry." he pants out as I continue slamming into him, continue pumping his cock hard.

"You're sorry, Sam? Sorry?" I ask him between clenched teeth, letting go of his hair. I bring my hand down, flip the robe up, baring his naked ass, then pull my hand back and smack him as hard as I can on the side of his ass. "You're sorry!?" I shout out to him, smacking him again. 

He jumped slightly with the first, the second, his leg moved, as though he was trying to move himself away from the blow of my hand, but I smack him again, then again and again, as hard as I can and still keep up the speed of my cock in his ass, my hand on his dick.

"Dean..." he half moans, half whimpers out and the sound goes straight to my dick. It jumps slightly inside him and I moan loud, my head falling back.

I can feel my orgasm right there, but I don't want to end this yet, not yet, not now. I've just started here, just started working out my feelings about this. No, I won't allow myself to orgasm. So, I stop moving, holding still inside him. He's bucking back against me, and I smack him again. "Fucking hold still, Sam!" I tell him, using the authoritative tone I would on a hunt, when it's important for him to listen to me. 

I lay my hand on the side of his ass, the side I've been hitting and I can feel the warmth of his skin under my hand there. Glancing down I can see how red it is. A dark deep crimson color. I run my hand lightly over the area and I hear him whimper softly, his hands holding onto the opposite side of the counter, knuckles white with how hold he's holding on. My hand on his cock stills too, I don't want him to come yet either. He whimpers again, wiggling against me slightly.

"Please, Dean, I need -" he starts, but I interrupt him right there as new anger floods through me. 

"You need!? You need!? What about what I need, Sam? Huh? What about me!? No one seems to think Dean ever needs anything!" I yell at him, "Dean, take care of your little brother. Dean, I need you to help me hunt. Dean, I need you to take care of this, Dean, I need you to do that! But, no one has ever asked me what the hell I need, Sam!! No one! Not ever!" I'm yelling now, but I don't really care at this point, I'm sort of on a roll here.

"Then you, you want kids, and a house, a normal life. So, I give that to you, because you want it, you need it! Hell, Sam, I was happy hunting, going from motel to motel the way we were, but no, you wanted all this, so I gave it to you! And then you up and fucking leave me with these two kids that YOU SAM, YOU wanted!" I yell, and smack him again, I keep smacking him, and I don't stop until my arm gets too sore to do it anymore.

It's only then that I stop. I reach up then with that hand and grab a handful of his hair, yank his head back, and it's then that I notice that he has tears running down his face. I feel sort of like an ass then, so I lean over him, letting go of his hair as I do and tug down the robe more off his shoulders. I press my lips to his upper back, his shoulders, the back of his neck through his hair. 

"I got ya, Sammy." I whisper softly to him as I start to move my hips again, moving inside him, my hand on his cock, pumping slowly, much more gently than before. "Missed you so bad, baby." I tell him, my voice soft, soothing as I continue to move, speeding up just a little. 

I hear him take in a breath, as his head tilts back slightly, his eyes closed. "Missed you, too, Dean." he tells me, his voice, just as soft, though slightly choked.

I nuzzle his neck then, kissing him there as my free hand comes up, against his chest, holding him back against me.

I hear him moan softly as he bucks back against me, "Harder." he whispers out.

Let me tell you, now that I know he won't break, now that I've done it once, he doesn't have to say it twice to me. In the past he had said that and I had only moved slightly harder, slightly faster, but now. [chuckles wickedly] Now, he better be holding on alright.

I start moving slightly faster, my thrusts harder and he arches back against me and fuck if I can hold on much longer, because I really don't think I can. Christ, Sammy! My head falls back as I grit my teeth, trying to hold on as long as I can, my hand on his cock tightens, speeding up and I feel his muscles tighten, and I know he's close now too.

"Come for me, baby... oh fuck," I whisper out between my clenched teeth. I hear him gasp and moan and then he throws his head back and my name falls from his lips as I feel his hot spunk coat my hand and I'm coming in him hard. I buck my hips harder against him as I lower my head, breathing heavy.

"Mine. Sammy. Don't. Ever. Leave. Me. Again!" I tell him, my thrusts accentuating my words. Each thrust hard, jerky. So hard I can feel him rising up on his toes.

Then I collapse on his back as he collapses against the counter. His head laying on the cool marble top. His breathing is just as ragged and fast as mine. I'm dropping lazy kisses over his shoulders as I just stand there, hunched over him, unable to do much else at the moment.

A few minutes later, after we're both breathing more normally, I kiss his neck, whispering, "I love you, Sammy." as I do, then I slowly pull away from him, pulling my cock out of his ass, as I let go of his dick. 

He turns around to face me then, wrapping his arms around me, laying his head on my shoulder. "I love you too, Dean." he tells me before pulling back. I look into the most beautiful hazel eyes on the planet and smile softly, before I look down at my hand coated with his spunk, then at his stomach, dotted with it and I smirk slightly, raising an eyebrow. "Want to take a shower with me?" I ask him. 

He smiles softly at me, looking between the two of us at the mess we've made and nods. "Think I need one."

* * * * * 

We're standing in our bathroom, and I'm checking the temperature of the water, before we get in. Sam's kinda just standing in the door way with his arms across his chest, leaning against the door jam, looking way too hot to be legal. (Yeah, I did just say that. God damn girl vibe going through this house now anyway! [sighs] And yes, apparently, I see it as my job to protect Sam from everything, even water that is too hot. [shakes head])

I glance over at him and nod, (like I'm giving him the okay to go into a haunted house or something where I just cleared it of evil shit so he'd be safe. [shakes head] When did I become such a mother?) then I step into the shower, closing the clear shower door behind me, waiting for him to come inside, join me.

He smirks slightly and pulls away from the door jam, walking toward me and opens the door, stepping inside. 

The water is hot, damn hot, but not scalding. Though it's enough to make steam rise up around us, fogging the glass within a few seconds of our being in there. I step out of his way, so he can get under the waters spray with me and we both just sort of stand there for a few minutes, letting the water run over us.

After a few minutes of standing there, I reach for the bar of soap, intending to wash both myself and Sam, but he looks over at me, reaches out and takes the soap from my hand, kissing my lips softly as he does. He then begins to wash me, slowly running his hands and the bar of soap over my body. He lathers his hands then and sets the soap down and just uses his hands, rubbing them all over my body, washing me... and turning me on again. (Fucking tease!)

His hands run down my chest, over my stomach and to my cock. He’s washing me there, but he's also pumping me, exciting the hell out of me and I'm finding myself hard again, already. 

He rinses me and kneels before me, his hand working my dick.

With a glance up at me and a naughty little smirk pulling at his lips, he leans his head forward and takes my dick into his mouth. He takes it deep too and I'm moaning like a porn star, my head falling back, eyes closing.

Now, Sam may say that I have chick lips, that they scream DSL (dick sucking lips) but let me tell you, Sam can suck the chrome off a bumper, I swear to God!

I'm making more noises than a slut in heat as he sucks away at me, his hand pumping me in time with the movement of his mouth on me. My hands go to his head, fisting in his hair, but I'm not forcing him to take more, just holding him, because damn it all, I have to hold onto something.

Sam does this thing with his tongue, where he flicks it on the underside of my dick as he sucks me, [shakes head] I dunno how he manages it, the boy can multi-task I guess, but I can feel myself about to come already and my head falls back, my lips parting as I groan low and loud and then, his mouth is gone. Just like that, he pulls his mouth away from me. (Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that!?!)

I pull my head up, opening my eyes as I do and look down at him. He's smirking up at me, like he's the shit. (Oh you just wait, Samantha, you are so dead!)

But, I don't tell him what I'm thinking, in fact, I don't say much at all, other than a moaned out, "Sam, please, Christ."

He pulls up then, standing before me, and dips his head, capturing my lips with his. I can taste him, all hot and wet and delicious. His hand goes to my cock and he's pumping me as he kisses me and I'm moaning into his mouth. I hear him moan into mine, can feel his hard cock pressing into my hip. Oh God...

Well, this wasn't the way I had thought the day was going to go, but I'm all for fucking each other senseless all day long. Sounds like a hell of a day to me. Who am I to complain!?

I turn us slightly then, walk forward a couple steps, making him walk backward until he hits the tiled wall. I take his free hand then and lace my fingers with his, bring it up against the wall by his head, holding it there as we kiss and he pumps my cock. 

Finally, after a few more moments of kissing, I break the kiss, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth before I draw back completely. My eyes gaze into his for a moment as we just stand there. "You know how much I love you?" I ask him, my voice so soft I'm surprised he can even hear it, but he does. 

He smiles at me softly, but those sinful dimples are showing anyway, he nods slightly. "I got an idea." he tells me just as softly, "I love you too, Dean... just as much." 

I shake my head slightly, whisper, "Not possible." before I lean in and capture his lips again with my own.

When the kiss ends this time, we're both breathing heavy, as we gaze at each other. "I want you, Sam." I tell him and he nods to me, and I watch his throat work as he swallows.

I'm pretty sure he's thinking about his sore ass right now, but he's not going to tell me he's too sore, because he wants to make me happy. [smirks] I shake my head at him slightly then, "No, Sam, I want you inside me." he gasps softly and I can feel his dick twitch where it's trapped between our stomachs. 

Now, it's not that I never let him do this, or that I don't like it, it's just that, well... I'm Dean. [shrugs] Dominate alpha male, here me roar and all that. Where Sam's more a 'whatever' kinda guy. 

But, this time, this time I want to feel him, want him inside me, want him to make me feel every inch of him so that I'm still feeling it tomorrow.

He pulls his hand away from the wall slowly, and I let him, our eyes are still locked, fingers still laced. He pulls my arm behind my back as he wraps his around me, pulling me in for another kiss, his hand on my cock pumping faster, his grip lightly firmer. [grins] Yeah, Sam’s taken on his Dom-Sam role now...and oh yeah, I like it. [frowns slightly] Not that I would ever tell him that...or anyone else for that matter... [glares] so keep your pie holes shut, got it!?

I moan into his mouth and try to move my cock away from his hand, because I don't feel like blowin' my load here in the shower. I have better plans for that. But, Sam's not letting go, in fact, he slams me back against the wall, pressing his body against mine, holding me there. His hands relentless on my cock and his mouth is ravishing mine. I try to pull my lips from his but his head follows my movement, so I'm trapped. Trapped and liking it, truth be known. I can feel my orgasm building, coiling in the pit of my stomach and I whimper into Sam's mouth. I _only_ whimper for Sam. But, he growls deep in his throat and continues on.

My muscles tighten as I feel myself about to explode all over his hand, then suddenly his lips leave mine, he starts kissing and nipping a path quickly down my neck. He bends slightly and continues to my chest. "Sam!...oh Goddammit, Sam!" I growl out, eyes squeezed closed as I try in vain to hold back my orgasm.

Then just when I am about to come, his hand leaves my cock and he raises his head, looks at me, his hands pinning me, pinning my wrists to the wall at my sides.  
I'm gasping and bucking, fucking the hell out of the air, but my orgasm, the one that had been right fucking there, is denied me. 

My eyes are wide with the shock of what he's just done as I look at him and he smirks slightly and shakes his head. "Not until I say, Dean." _Oh God, I am so screwed!…_

"Sam...that was...just wrong!" I gasp out, still trying to collect myself again.

He looks at me for a few moments, then steps out of the shower and walks out of the bathroom. I watch him go, brow raised, thinking that I wasn't that mean, he didn't have to get pissed. Damn.

When he suddenly walks back in carrying Sammy's jump rope with him and unknown to me, I'm backing up. I only realize this because my back hits the wall, forcing me to stop. He gets back in the shower and kisses me. It's quick and hard and rough, before he steps back and reaches up over our heads to this chandelier thing that hangs above the shower stall. It's some sort of rod iron light fixture, was there when I moved in, when Ellen, Jo and Bobby bought me and the kids the place, I've never used it. Apparently it holds candles for "mood" lighting or some girly shit like that... Sam will like it. [snickers]

Anyway, he reaches up toward it and it's up there, so he's all stretched taut, and well, the look of him like that just does things to me. I can't decide if I'm more curious as to what the hell he's doing or more just wanting to stare unashamed at his body like that. I opt for option two with an addition of my own as I step forward, wrapping an arm around his body, my other hand lightly laying against his ribs. I dip my head and begin to just lick his skin. Hot and wet and all Sammy.

I'm sucking small areas of his skin into my mouth, nipping other spots, licking... I just can't seem to get enough of him. And I can feel his breaths coming quicker so I know he's liking what I'm doing.

His arms lower then and I look up at him, see the slight smirk on his face.

My attention is drawn to the jump rope hanging down from that chandelier thing where he has attached it. I look from him to it and back, and to look at the ropes, I have to look way up there. Like above his head, up there, and Sam is four inches taller than I am.

I watch him as he takes a small step toward me, wrapping his arms around me as he does. He dips his head and his lips find mine, his delicious tongue slides between my lips and I'm moaning into his mouth as one of his hands moves to my dick, starts stroking it. He deepens the kiss, his other hand is holding me close, so close I think he's either about to squash me or I'm just going to become part of him. 

As he kisses me, his hand slips off my cock after a few moments and goes to my hand, his fingers intertwining with mine as his other hand moves to my opposite hand and does the same. Then slowly, he's raising my arms up above my head, and somewhere in the way back far places in my mind, I know this has to do with the jump rope, but at this point, I don't give a shit if he continues to hold me, kiss me, feel me.   
Before I realize what the hell is happening, I find my wrists held up by the ropes and myself on my tip toes as he pulls back from me with a smirk on his handsome face. His hazel eyes roam over my body and the desire I see within their depths makes, desire for me, makes my cock twitch where it rests, hard and throbbing for him against my muscled stomach, precum leaking from the tip. "Sammy..." I manage to whisper out, needing him, needing his touch. 

His hands reach out to me, run down my sides as he kneels before me, like he’s worshiping me and the sight in itself has me stifling a moan. His hands run along my skin down to my cock and balls, one hand cupping me, the other wrapping around me, as he dips his head, taking me into his mouth. _Oh god, Sammy…_

My head falls back and I do moan this time. His mouth feels so good on me. So hot, so soft, so perfect. There is nothing more beautiful than the sight of his lips wrapped around my dick. I feel his mouth and hand start to move on my cock and I gasp softly, biting my lip as I do. My eyes slide closed then as I just let myself feel him on me. 

I feel his hand leave my balls and the water, now cooling shut off and I know he has reached back and done it. His hand returns and he's caressing me, teasing me and I'm panting, loving every second of it. _Don't stop, Sam. Don't ever fuckin' stop._

His hand runs up my stomach, to my chest, back down again to cup my balls, as he rolls them in his fingers, his mouth and tongue doing crazy things to my cock, making me want to scream with pleasure, but I only groan, suck in a breath as I tug on the ropes at my wrists. His hand on my cock is teasingly slow, just keeping me aching with the need for more. _Holy fuck, Sammy...please…_

He's teasing me into a frenzy and before I know it, I can feel my orgasm right fucking there, begging to be let out, if he'd only quicken the pace a little, stroke a little harder. _Oh fuck me, he's good._

He's got me whining like a damn slut in heat, begging him with the whimpers and mews that fall from my lips for him to finish me off.

Finally, he seems like he wants to show my some mercy as the pace of his hand on my cock quickens, tightens, and his mouth… _Oh my god_... he quickens the movement of his mouth, the flick of his tongue, the suction. 

I'm about to come, about to fill his mouth and coat his throat with my hot spunk, I can feel it and I'm moaning and groaning, growling and bucking slightly. I think I might just pass out, I can tell how hard this is going to be already, but then, just before I come, when I am past the point of return, of holding it off, he pulls his mouth away, his hand away, leaves my completely and utterly barren.

I gasp and writhe and I'm fucking trembling as I look down at him as he looks at me like he's 'the shit', and pulls slowly to his feet. 

"Sammy... please...." I beg him, yeah, I do, and I don't give a fuck that I'm begging, I just want the orgasm that was denied me... again.

I watch as he shakes his head, that damn grin on his face that I just want to wipe off of it, want to make him realize that he can only push me so far before I push back. Not in a bad way... oh hell no... I plan to make Sam be the one begging before this is over now. It's a battle of wills, and my stubborn Winchester pride is yelling 'game on' even as my body just wants to feel those delicious sensations and it doesn't give a fuck who's making who beg or who's 'the shit'.

I shift my weight from the ball of one foot to the other as I stand there on my tip toes, arms stretched up over my head. My eyes drop slightly to that sinful mouth of his that's red and slightly swollen from our kisses and his sucking my cock; I lick my own lips as I look there, thinking about his lips on mine, on me, anywhere, everywhere and a small strangled groan escapes my throat.

He steps back up to me and it's like he can read my mind, because he's slanting his lips over mine, kissing me hard and hungrily and I'm eating his kisses like their candy, my tongue fucking into and out of his mouth.

I hear him moan into my mouth and the sound goes straight to my dick, making it twitch and me moan in return. I can feel his fingers, digits fumbling with the jump rope at my wrists as he reaches upward, and I'm growing anxious with each second that passes as I await my freedom, the ability to grab him and crush his body to mine, to touch him, feel him everywhere I want to, to tease the living shit out of him like he has me. 

(Oh don't you worry, I _so_ have not forgotten that it's time for a little payback here.) I plan to make Francis scream like the little bitch that he is. (The fucker)

In the next instant my wrists are free and I've lowered my arms, wrapping them around him and in a quick move, I back Sam up against the wall on the other side of the shower. I'm pinning him there with the weight of my body as I pull an arm from around him and reach down to wrap my hand around his dick, I pump him slow, my thumb ghosting over the tip and I can feel the wet stickiness of his precum that's leaked out. I smear it with my thumb, keeping that same slow rhythm going with my hand, and I'm still kissing the hell out of him. 

When He finally manages to tear his lips from mine, he's gasping in breaths. "Dean.." he breaths my name and, of course, I smirk at him, cause it's my fucking turn to look have that 'I'm the shit' look. 

I tilt my head slightly to the side and quirk a brow, "Problem, Sammy?" I ask him.

He shakes his head at me and licks those damn lips of his, "Want you." he whispers breathlessly to me and I can feel my cock twitch at the sound of his voice, raw and needy.

I grin a bit wider as I release his cock and wrap my arms around him, start walking him, pushing and pulling backward out of the shower stall. 

"Gonna make you come so hard, Sammy." I tell him softly as I dip my head, my teeth grazing against the side of his neck before I suck skin into my mouth. I run my tongue over the area as I continue sucking his skin, sucking so hard I know there's going to be a helluva bruise there, but I can't bring myself to care.

He's moaning softly, his arms around me, running over my back, up into my hair.  
Finally, I get us to the bed. We're both still wet from the shower, but I could give a rats ass as I push him down onto the bed, going down with him, laying myself out on top of him. 

My mouth moves from his neck, up his jaw, and then I'm slanting my mouth over his again, kissing him hard and hungry. Our teeth are knocking, tongues tangled and we're moaning into each other's mouths as we grind our cocks together, humping against one another, hard and fast like a couple of teenagers.

I can't seem to get enough of him, even when I know I need to end the kiss so we can both breathe, I want more, more of Sam.

His hands are on my ass, squeezing and pressing me harder against him, before I shimmy down his body slightly, my mouth going to his collarbone, licking, kissing, sucking, biting my way across his flesh. We're still thrusting against one another as best as we can, but the lining up isn't quite as right as it was, but it's close enough.

I moan against his skin and make incoherent sounds deep in my throat as I continue to simply devour him. Sam's moaning and writhing under me, mewing and making these sounds that, (fuck!) are going straight to my cock each time he does it. 

I make my way down lower, so now the thrusting against one another should probably stop, but it seems that our bodies haven't figured that out yet as his hips are still moving, grinding his cock against my belly and I'm humping his thigh like a damn dog in heat. 

I run my tongue around his small male nipple before sucking it into my mouth, then nip at it with my teeth. I hear him gasp softly as I do and again, those sounds he makes... (direct line to my dick, I'm tellin' ya.) I know I've probably got a little puddle of precum going on his thigh, I can feel a small one on my stomach from him and it's fucking hot to know that he's that wound up, that he's that excited for me. 

His hands have moved to my back, his finger tips are digging in as I tease his nipple into a hard bud, then move, licking a path across his chest and do the same to his other nipple.   
He's panting out his breaths, or at least I'm pretty sure that's him, maybe it's me, or maybe it's both of us... but his chest is rising and falling under me like he's been running a marathon. 

Apparently, this is the moment when Sam can't take it anymore, because the next thing I know he's rolled us and I'm flat on my back under him, he's now laying on top of me, but holding himself up with one arm by my head as he reaches between us and takes hold of my cock, starts to stroke me slowly. His beautiful hazel eyes staring right into mine. 

I lick my lips just before my gaze falls to his mouth and then his lips crush against mine, kissing me hard and rough. His hand on my cock tightens slightly, as he keeps pumping me and I'm moaning into his mouth. 

My arms are wrapped around him, holding him to me. I bend to the side slightly as I reach with one hand for his ass. Gripping his ass in one hand, I dip a finger downward, teasing his tightly puckered hole. He pulls his mouth away from mine, gasping in a breath as he squeeze his eyes closed, his tongue darting out to run along that sinful damn bottom lip, wetting it, and my eyes are glued to the sight, I seem to be transfixed by it or something, because my entire world suddenly seems to narrow into that one point. My own tongue darts out to wet my lips and I'm moaning his name and I whisper to him, "Sammy, need you, baby." just as I slip my finger inside his tight little ass. 

He gasps and does this half shudder thing, and all I can say is that it's a good damn thing his hand on my cock stopped moving in that second or I would have just shot my wad right here, right now. (Holy fucking A, Sammy!)

I thrust my finger deeper inside his ass, curving it slightly so I can graze that sweet bundle of nerves in there for him. He gasps and moans, his lips parted, before he bites his bottom lip, trapping it with his straight white teeth and I'm thinking his teeth have a damn good idea, so I raise my free hand and hook the back of his neck, pulling his head down so I can crush my lips to his. I'm thrusting my tongue in and out of his mouth in perfect rhythm with the finger I have in his ass and he's whimpering deep in his throat and moaning into my mouth. My hips are thrusting upward now so that we can grind together and he pulls his hand out from between us, his arm slipping under my shoulder as he holds onto me tightly. 

I stop tongue fucking his mouth and nip at his bottom lip, but I refuse to let him pull his head back and just keep nipping and licking his bottom lip until he's making these frustrated sounds. Only then do I relent and let him pull his head back, opting instead to latch onto his neck, sucking skin into my mouth and biting him hard. He gives a groaned growl and again, it goes straight to my cock.

"Dean... I need... stop! Please! I'm gonna... I don't wanna... not yet..." he's panting out, as he grips handfuls of the sheets in his hands. Slowly I pull my finger out of his ass and he whimpers a little as I do. 

Sliding my hands up and down his sides, I look up at him, "Wanna feel you, Sammy." I tell him, nodding as I do.

He swallows hard, I can see his throat convulsing out of the corner of my eye as I gaze up into his beautiful face. "Okay, Dean." he tells me softly, leaning down to brush a soft kiss across my lips. 

He's reaching for the lube, I know this by the angle of his body, not to mention I know my Sam. He worries too fuckin' much and if that wasn't enough... I can hear the drawer moving. [snickers] (What? I'm horny, not deaf!) 

He's still kissing me as I hear the drawer slide closed again (Damn OCD) and then he's straightening, slowly ending the kiss, nipping at my bottom lip as he does. He pulls back and looks down at me and he doesn't even have to say it because it's all there in his eyes and on his face, but he does anyway, "I love you, babe."

My arms tighten around him as I pull him closer, kissing his lips, his jaw, his neck. "Love you, baby boy, always." I answer softly, just before he slowly pulls back.

He's sitting up on his knees between my wide spread legs now, and he's got the bottle of lube, pouring some out into his hand. His face is a mask of concentration and it's so damn cute I just want to reach up and touch him, but I make myself hold back (because, no, Dean Winchester, just does not _do_ girly 'aww' moments. Sorry).

I'm watching him, biting my lower lip and slowly, I start to frown as I keep watching him. He keeps pouring the lube out into his palm and I swear to God, he had enough to grease a damn engine. 

"Sammy," I say his name softly, but he's not looking up, just squeezing that damn tube for all he's worth and I swear he's about to lose that big ass paw-full of lube he's got going. 

"Sam!" I call his name, the way I use to on a hunt when I needed to get his attention. His head snaps up and he looks at me, lips parted, a completely dumbfounded look on his face and I have to bite back the smile that I feel tugging at the corners of my mouth as I nod toward his handful of lube. "You plan on greasing the Impala's engine?" he tears his gaze from mine and looks at the mammoth pile of lube in his hand. After a second or two, he shrugs a shoulder before looking back at me, "I just didn't want to..." he licks his lips, "it's been eight years." he tells me and I quirk a brow at him before rolling my eyes. 

"Yeah, dude, eight years, but I didn't grow a fuckin cherry. You don't need..." I let my sentence trail off as I sit up, grabbing his wrist in one hand and scooping out half of the lube pile he has. Turning my upper body I fling it onto the night stand and I hear him make this sound and I know I just grossed him out, but, well.... it's his own damn fault. I turn back toward him and reach down with the hand the lube was in, it's still well coated and curl my fingers around his cock, start to pump him slow as I gaze into his eyes. "See? It's okay. Stop worrying." I tell him softly.

He nods, biting his lip as a soft low moan escapes him. He reaches out with one hand, the one not still covered in lube and wraps his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me closer, his lips slanting over mine in a heated kiss as I continue to stroke him slowly, my thumb ghosting over the tip of his crown. I feel his body jerk-jump slightly as I do it and it only serves to excite me more. 

"Oh God, baby..." I groan out as he pulls back slowly. "Need you now, baby boy." I tell him softly before I lay back against the pillows again, watching him through lowered lids.

I see him smear the lube around in his hand and have to bite back the want to roll my eyes at him. (Have I said lately that he worries too damn much? You'd think death might have changed that, but apparently not.)

He leans over me then and I can feel his (way too well) lubed fingers at my tightly puckered hole as his slightly slanted champagne hazels gaze down into my jade greens. I lick my lips and arch back toward him, force his finger inside faster than he had planned, otherwise we might be here all day and well, I think I might just go insane from want if that were to happen. I hear him gasp at the same time that I do, but my eyes have closed, so I thankfully can't see the concerned look on his face I just know is there. (Good God, how long has it been again? A lifetime?)

His finger starts to slowly move inside me thankfully, because I was sure he was going to pull it out as though he'd just killed me or something and _that_ definitely would have. But, no, instead he's moving it, and I'm moaning softly as I buck back into each thrust of his finger. The burn is there and gone quickly, as I knew it would be. (like I said... He worries too much. He's such a girl.) Then his mouth is slanting over mine and I'm not caring how much of a girl he is anymore. All I know is that this feels incredible and I just want more, more of this, more of my Sam. It's like he can read my mind as a second finger joins the first in my ass and I'm moaning into his mouth, holding onto him for dear life, like he might just disappear any second.

I feel him start to scissor his fingers inside me and I know it won't be long before he's pulling them out and replacing them with his cock, the very thought of which excites the hell out of me. 

My cock is pulsing and throbbing, leaking precum between us, as he continues to get me ready. Finally, I tear my lips from his, my breaths panting out, and I'm sure my pupils are lust blown as my brain is in a lust induced fog. "Sammy, now baby." I tell him softly, my voice is so husky, I barely recognize it. 

I watch him as he bits his bottom lip and nods before slowly pulling his fingers from my ass. I can't help the small whimper that escapes me at the loss, but then, as he pulls back, kneeling there between my wide spread legs, that I have now pulled up, bent at the knee to give him better access, I feel the blunt end of his cock against my hole and I'm biting my own bottom lip, waiting.

He glances up at me, one hand on his cock to guide himself, one on my hip and whispers, "I love you, Dean." just before he pushes his way inside. 

My neck arches back and a low loud groan tumbles from my lips, my eyes closing at the feel of him. He's not all the way in, just part way, I know that, but God, I feel nearly full anyway. 

Sam's size proportionate, and well, his cock in your ass is a pretty damn big deal. I had often wondered, after seeing him fully aroused when we had first gotten together how in the hell he hadn't ripped small girls like Jess and Madison in half.

He moves slowly, gently, pulling mostly out before thrusting back in, a little further this time and with each thrust I'm gasping in air, my hands fisted in the bed sheets under me. (Yeah, okay, maybe I _did_ grow a damn cherry. Fuck!)

Then he's balls deep inside me and I feel so full and so complete, when he leans over me, I'm reaching up, taking hold of his head in my hands and dragging his mouth down for a passionate kiss as I buck back against his slow movements.

The tip of his dick hits that sweet bundle of nerves deep inside me and I'm whimpering into his mouth, my hands fisting in his shaggy hair as we continue to kiss.

He starts to move faster now, thrusting inside me and hitting my prostate every single fucking time. I'm moaning as I push back against him. He tears his lips away from mine and we're panting our breaths out as we gaze at one another, faces contorted in pleasure and fuck if he isn't the hottest thing I've ever seen. 

I reach between us and start to pump my leaking cock at the same moment that he throws his head back, his lips are parted and a loud low moan escapes him. The sight of that hot ass neck of his fully exposed to me (I told you the kid has like _thee_ hottest neck _ever_ , right?) and the sounds he's making has heat pooling in my groin. 

I groan at the feel of him, the sight of him, the sounds he is making. God, at this rate I'm not going to last much longer, but then, I guess we have been at this a while, huh? 

So, there I am trying to hold out a little longer, my hands in tight fists as I grit my teeth, watching him, because good God, have you _seen_ Sam in the middle of sex? (Oh, I guess not, huh? - Well, it's fuckin' amazin' anyway.) 

I arch my back, thrusting back against him as I close my eyes, because I just can't keep them open any longer as I feel my balls draw up so fuckin' tight I could scream with the pleasure of it and my neck is arched back, my lips parted, muscles tense. And then I'm coming, hot jets of my cum shooting out of my cock, spilling between us and wetting my stomach and even my chest I'm coming so fucking hard. 

His name is a growl torn from my lips, and as my body clenches around his cock I hear him gasp and groan and then I can feel his hot spunk filling me as he comes deep inside my ass, and I swear to God, it's the best thing ever! (You can't dream up this shit people, this is real. Yeah, I know, but some place inside me still fears that I am gonna walk around a corner or look at his side of the bed and realize that I dreamt all this, that he really is still rotting away in that fuckin' coffin at the cemetery.)

As or orgasms subside, Sam collapses down on me, though he catches most of his weight on an arm above my head (like I said, he worries), his harsh breaths are fanning my face, his eyes still closed. I watch as he licks his lips and slowly opens his eyes and smiles weakly at me. "Oh God, baby," he tells me, "s’good, s’ good." he tells me. 

I grin back and nod, "Perfect, Sammy." I tell him softly, reaching up to smooth back his bangs from his forehead. 

"I love you." he tells me softly, and I can see it, all of his love right there in those champagne hazels and it has me swallowing back the lump in my throat as I nod, 

"Me too." I tell him, mostly cause it's all I think I can probably get out at the moment without sounding like some emo ass girl.


End file.
